NABI 나비

NABI

Matthew was quiet as he spun the spaghetti noodles on his fork. Too quiet. Nabi had watched him spin that fork for the last five minutes.

“Matt?”

“Hmm…” he didn’t even look up from his plate.

“Matt, sweetie, what’s wrong?” Nabi started pulling at a loose tendril of hair. A nervous habit.

“Nothing babe.”

“But you’re not eating and you’ve been so quiet. I-”

“Dammit, I said nothing’s wrong!” Matthew’s fist hit the table with such force, the dishes shook.

Nabi flinched. “Don’t do that! You don’t get to go all caveman just because you’re feeling pissy!”

Matthew exhaled in a rush then looked across the table at her, “you’re right, I’m sorry.”

He got up from the table, taking his dishes with him as he walked to the kitchen. Nabi listened as the food from his plate was scraped into the sink. The sounds of the faucet running water into the teeth of garbage disposal followed. The noise from the kitchen ceased and she waited to see what his next move would be. For ten minutes they stayed separated by half a wall and faces that were turned in opposite directions. Silence the only company for either.

Matthew was the first to break the silence when he muttered a favored four-letter word. Nabi turned as she heard him move back into the dining area of their apartment. He offered her a smile that barely turned up the corners of his mouth when their eyes met.

“I’m sorry Nabi. I’m going to head back to base for a little while- see what Miller and the guys are up to. I won’t be too late coming back, ok?”

Yes slipped from her lips as Matthew kissed the top of her head. Nabi watched as he went to the side table where he always put his keys and wallet. He didn’t look at her again before he walked out of the door.

Heart heavy and no longer hungry, Nabi got up from the table and went to the bedroom. Her dishes left on the table. Matthew would be upset to see the dirty dishes there but she couldn’t think enough to care right then. She stripped down until she stood wearing only her cotton boy short panty. The camouflage ones that Matthew thought were so cute. Nabi slipped between the sheets and tried her hardest not to cry herself to sleep.

~*~

“Do you hate me now?” Nabi asked as she pulled her body flush with Matthew’s. She nuzzled her nose into his neck and inhaled. He smelled clean, a mixture of that soap he liked and his own natural musk.

His hand played in her hair for a moment. He was happy that the room was dark and she couldn’t see the face he pulled at her question. “No Nabi, I don’t hate you. That was a very hard thing I asked you to do. I’ve just got a lot on my mind.”

“You’re thinking about the move to the next duty station?”

He hesitated. I should tell her… “Yes. Only four weeks until I go.”

“I wish I could go with you. I know I have to finish school but I hate that we’ll be apart for so long.”

“Well I’m here now.” Matthew said as he pulled her on top of him and quieted her with his mouth.

~*~

Nabi read and reread the email on the screen. For the past six months things between them had been rocky. Matthew would come home to their apartment in the most awful moods sometimes. She always did her best to make him happy. She loved him and didn’t want the days before they had to part filled with fights and ill spoken words.