Everyone in the small town of Hull knows two things. One: Jill Williams doesn't date, and two: Carson Blue is addicted to drugs.
When Carson decides to clean up his act and apply at Jill's family restaurant, she's less than enthused. Between school...
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I TEXTED CARSON as soon as I noticed he was gone, but he doesn't reply until I reach Dad's motel.
Carson: I had to go home. Sorry.
My headlights illuminate the dark parking lot, and the car rumbles as I keep it in idle. Across the lot, past a half-dead neon sign that flickers Lakeside Motel, the lights in Dad's room are on. I wring my thumb around my necklace, and my heart races faster than my thoughts can keep up with. It's like I have a circuitry of frayed wires in my chest.
I inhale a shaky breath. Maybe Carson really did go home. Maybe all that drama gave him anxiety and he took off before Dad. The whole thing is blurry now, and I can't remember if he was even there through it all.
But this is suspicious. I get out of the car.
The cool grass tickles my ankles as I cut across the lawn to Dad's room, hugging myself tightly. A mantra plays in my head, saying, please don't let him be here, please don't let him be here, please don't let him be here.
I creep up to the motel room. Voices sound on the other side. I press my ear to the door.
"You gotta do what you gotta do, buddy," Dad says.
"Jill makes me happy, but sometimes when she's not around, it's like I'm drowning."
The wind knocks from my lungs. I cover my mouth with my hand to suppress my sob. I don't know what to do, how to react. So I just listen.
"Hey man, you don't gotta justify yourself to me," Dad says. "I know how it is. Life gets rough and you need an escape. You're only human, buddy. Don't be so hard on yourself."
"I don't wanna let her down, but even being around her makes me feel so guilty. Lately all I can think about is getting high."
"Believe me, I know that feeling. Listen man, just do a bit of this stuff with me, and trust me, it'll all get better. Snow'll give you the jitters, make it obvious. This'll really take the pain away."
"Is it clean?"
"Yeah, it's clean! Look, these're fresh."
"If Jill finds out about this, she'll hate me. You sure she didn't follow us?"
"She won't find out, man. You texted her, didn't yah?"
"Yeah, but..."
"Hey, if you don't wanna do it—"
"No. I want to."
"Here, roll up your sleeve. That's it. Put it right there."
I kick open the door. Everything moves in slow motion. Carson and Dad sit next to each other on a ratty couch. A blue band is tied around Carson's bicep with a needle on his arm, right about to pierce the skin. When he stands, it tumbles to the floor, but Dad catches it.
