~~langst~~ (one shots)

to a friend

to anyone who reads my langst book... I don't know if I'm going to be posting anymore... One of my readers died... One I talked to a bit before it happened and I don't know it feels wrong to write it... I'm going to try get through my grief and see if I can write more
I know I'm annoying you guys with all the pauses and the waiting but until I get inspiration back and until I'm over the grief I can't post... I just can't. I have a few that have one or two bits left that I can post at some stage but I'm gonna be gone for a while other then those

I only had a few conversations with him mostly about his mental health and physical health but it was enough for me to call him my friend and it hit hard when I found out. I'm lucky I was even told...

To anyone in this books who's left a comment about yourself and I've responded trying to keep you safe and make you feel better, I care... If you died and I found out I'd cry. I spent a whole day crying over him and a week going around feeling pretty numb... I get weird triggers and I remember him... I cried over it in the middle of class. I'd care...

I know me caring doesn't mean much when you're hurting but yeah... I do. At least know when you feel alone you can comment here and I'll try respond. You matter so much..

And to him... Who I know can't read this, I'm sorry, I wish I could have done something to stop this... I know so many people miss you, I miss you and I should have talked to you more but I got busy... I wish you could read this, you'd probably tell me to chill out and not to care but I didn't listen I cared anyway... I don't care that everyone can read this i just wish you could

I miss you even though we didn't talk that much, I wish I had talked more while I still could

Goodbye...

From Evan

P.s I didn't write this so people could feel bad and tell me im so strong ect I wrote this so you guys would have an explanation and so I could say goodbye to a friend (your comments mean so much to me I just don't want people getting the wrong idea you know?)