The Standouts - A Critique Contest by PAULAPDX (Summer 2019 Edition)

Good Stories, But I'm Passing - And Here's Why

Omg, guys! I really hope this feedback is helpful because I am NEVER doing this again, at least not on this scale, lol. It wasn't reading your first chapters that was so exhausting, it was the processing, analyzing, and then having to articulate my reaction to your work that was more than I'd bargained for. Because, like I said in my announcement about the delay, I'm just not wired for brief one-liners. :-) Okay, well, lesson learned.

And (she slips on her teacher glasses) perhaps I should have stressed in BOLD AND IN ALL CAPS that your logline is pretty critical to getting your work noticed and chosen for something like this; but honestly, I thought that was obvious. I say this because it looks like some of y'all half-assed it and others just phoned it in. 

I'm giving you beef here because you say that you want submission-level feedback; and while I'm not going to hold you to true submission-level standards, if you don't even try to entice me or sell me your story when given ample space to do so (Remember--most logline requests are for one sentence, and I gave you three!), then there's a problem. If you're serious about taking your writing to the next level and pursuing it as a career, you should always be striving to put your best foot forward as far as your story is concerned--always. I'll call it a Story Summary next time and perhaps that may help; but really, it shouldn't have mattered. I was very underwhelmed on that front, guys. Okay, my cranky lecture (delivered with love) is now over.

Awesome! Let's dive into my gut reactions. What you'll be getting here is my externalized thoughts mixed with analysis from experience, and some subjective preferences thrown in. This is pretty much how professionals do it (from what I've seen from the agents and executives I've worked with and recalling back to when I was an exec. taking pitches). To be honest, there's more subjective preferences thrown in when the professionals do it because they have to choose projects they absolutely love or know they can make money off of. It's more do or die for them.

Also, note that as I said previously, this is sort of a running commentary and my reactions are, in part, building upon the previous ones and building over time. Thus, for example, my unadulterated frustration with prologues by the time I'd hit the eighth or ninth one. Below are some resources you should check out to better understand the more subjective side of accepting or passing on a query or work. 

Lastly, whether you were chosen or not I encourage you to read through the entry summaries and my responses AS WELL AS READ EACH OTHER'S WORKS! Just because I passed on a story, that doesn't mean it's not good or that you won't like it. Here's an opportunity to help out your fellow writers. It will give you a better context for my comments and if you comment or vote (which you should), it will give a boost to those participating in the contest. Let's all help each other, yeah?

Resources:

Nick, from Wattpad HQ wrote a tips books and has a whole chapter on why you should avoid prologues - https://www.wattpad.com/468789699-behind-wattpad-insights-on-writing-from-working-at

 A fascinating analysis of agent responses to queries (based on what the blogger could see from 200 Tweets and the like). He did three of them: 

https://hofsetz.com/2017/03/07/agent-x/

https://hofsetz.com/2017/03/23/agent-y/

https://hofsetz.com/2017/04/10/agent-z/ (This one is especially good)