The Words I couldn't Say

A Letter

Dear _______,
Just hear me out okay?
I know you moved on and I know you don't give a damn about me anymore. I just have to get this off my chest before I can start trying to move on. I miss you. Okay, I do. And I know you don't miss me. But I still have all of your pictures and all of our memories, I even still have that necklace... I try so hard to hate you, but it's not possible, I don't blame you for what happened I just want to know a few things. How fast did it take you to get over me? Do you ever think of me? And there are things I need to let you know. I know a piece of me will always love you, and because of that I'll still always be here if you need someone to vent to, and even though it'll hurt I hope that when you find someone new they love you unconditionally and they always worry for you and you're happy. All I want is for you to be happy, even if it's not with me.

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I couldn't do it. I couldn't send it to him. I know he won't even see it, because he unadded me but I still didn't have the guts to do it. Its three I have school and I'm having a mental break down. I had no one to talk to, all I wanted was a stranger to let me vent, I don't care who it is, just... just let me explode. Let me boil over the edge, let me spill my contents on the floor and make a mess. My life's a mess, it's a joke, even when I cry and look back on my life I laugh out of pity. It's a shame I was put on this Earth, to do nothing but cry and feel sorry for my dumbass self. It's a shame my mom had such a useless daughter like me, never cleaning up, never giving her a hug or an I love you, never thanking her for putting up with all the bull shit I put her through. It's a shame my bestfriend is stuck with such a whiny person, a broken record saying "it'll be okay" when my life's also falling apart and I believe nothing will ever be okay for me. The world just got unlucky, having to deal with me. But because I'm such a selfish, coward I'll make everyone put up with my existence. Because I don't have the sympathy to do the world a favor and just end my life already.