Mental Health and Me

Chapter 3: Relationships and Friendships

Friendships and relationships are so helpful in boosting your own mental health. Toxic friendships and relationships can massively damage your own mental health but having a supportive friendship from my experience allows you to boost your own mental health.

This topic is very vast any my experience of relationships and friendships has both boosted and damaged my mental health in many different ways. Relationships that haven't gone well have damaged my mental health but made me stronger as a person and learning from what went wrong helps to improve you as a person. As well as this having a very supportive best friend for me and a close supportive friendship group has allowed me to stay positive and push through the ups and downs in my life.

As a lad you open up a lot less about your thoughts and feelings and the stereotypical view that lads are viewed as weak or soft if they speak how they feel. The first step is opening up about your insecurities and how you feel, this will always be the hardest thing at first. Once you are comfortable speaking to someone about how you feel is the next step to a better mental health. I've always found it hard to speak to my parents about my problems because I didn't know what they would think and sometimes they can't relate to some of the things you're experiencing. My advice is finding someone your age that you feel comfortable speaking to, this needs to be someone you trust and who cares for you.

From my own experience having a supportive best friend has allowed me to open up and express my thoughts, concerns and anxieties about certain situations. Having a best friend allows you to get a second opinion on a situation, when it's just you thinking about a situation you will only see the situation in your point of view and only yours. This can increase your anxiety and worry about that particular situation. A second opinion from a supportive friend allows you to see a different perspective of a situation which you may not have thought about before. Let's think about this in an anxious situation, having a second opinion and getting your thoughts off your chest allows you to calm down and have a more positive mindset for that situation. You may find it hard getting it off your chest, but you need to be confident be brave and tell someone you trust and who cares for you.

Friendships can often have arguments and letting this affect your own mental health and happiness isn't good for you. We all have arguments and disagreements with your friends but learning from these disagreements and moving on is key. When we argue we all think about what we have done wrong and feel really bad for it but letting these thoughts carry on festering and constantly feeling bad will decrease your mood. My advice has always been after an argument have abit of time to think about the whole argument then be honest with each other then move on. Keeping grudges against someone and having these negative thoughts in your head worsens your mental health.

Toxic friendships are another thing that can really hurt your mental health, and sometimes we hang onto these types of relationships because we don't actually realise how toxic they really are. I think sometimes we allow friends to make us feel worse than we already are, don't let their negative opinions bring you down and tell you what you have to do. Don't stop doing something or wearing something just because your friend doesn't like it or has an opinion. A friend helps you with thing not controls what you can and cannot do or act that's not a real friend. I've always said don't change for anyone. Realising who actually cares for you instead of people who are only there for you at times makes you realise who are your true friends and who you can go to when you need someone there for you. Moving on from toxic relationships is essential to boosting your mental health so that you have people who support you not put you down for the way you act.

Relationships can have a massive effect on your own mental health. Learning how to deal with relationships gone wrong and also going well is essential in helping your own mental health. A relationship is a two-way thing and making sure you are both there for each other and being supportive is one step to a successful relationship. Each of you at times will be feeling down and having things on your mind but being there for each other and supporting each other through the good and bad times not only helps to build a strong relationship but also helps to make you feel better and boost your mental health. Learning to deal with and move on from little arguments in a relationship just like a friendship is essential in improving both your mental health and relationship.

Relationships sometimes don't go well, and the aftereffects of the breakup can also have an effect on your mental health. It is sometimes hard coming out of a relationship especially if the feelings are very strong for them but making sure this doesn't affect your mental health. I've learnt this the hard way, but your ex is not the centre of your world and your life doesn't revolve around it. It may feel hard to move on because the feelings are so strong but holding onto something that's not there anymore hurts your mental health because you are worrying what went wrong. As I've said before dwelling on the past makes you feel more down don't think about what went wrong don't blame yourself you need to move on and not hold onto the past. I've always said everything happens for a reason because sometimes relationships don't work for a reason and moving on helps your mental health because you have a clearer and positive mind.

The main message for this chapter is to open up, realise who's there for you and ultimately be there for each other because you can get through these things together. Nothing's an easy journey and hey that's what friend are for!