Just Me Again.

7: Leaving

MARIA WAYNE

I don't know where did the two weeks fly and it was already time to go back to New York. I initially had plans to go back to New York after the month of March, but Charlie has been insisting to come earlier and I couldn't say no to her when I know that she needs me the most right now. I had mixed feelings – I want to be there for Charlie, but at the same time I am afraid to face my past again. But, how long I will run away from it? For how long will I try to hide from my past when I know that now or then – I will have to face it again. I have gathered all the courage and now – I will be going back and be there for the friend who has always been there for me.

"I think Papa is right. You should take him with you." I heard Leo. I twirled around and tossed the folded shirt on my bed. He was leaning against the door's frame. I smiled at him and he sighed, "What about the doctor's appointment, Maria?" he questioned me.

I shrugged, "What about it? Leo, since the past four years I have been having different therapies and how much did they help?" I asked him while pointing towards the crutches in my hands. "I think it is time for us to accept that these are now a part of me. I can't get rid of them." I continued. "It is better if I befriend my disability because it will be with me until I die. I have accepted it – you and Papa should too." I added. "And anyway, I am tired of taking medicines, I am tired of painful therapies, I am tired of medication's side effects – I am tired of lying to myself. I need a break – and anyways, if I will miss a few months of therapy – it will not make my condition any worse. I will be okay." I said to him.

He quietly listened to me with his arms folded over his chest. After a pause – he sighed, "You are going to be okay." He said to me.

I smiled, "Leo, I am okay." I told him.

Leo left shortly after and I continued packing my clothes. I have to leave for New York tomorrow morning and there is still so much to do. Papa has been worrying about me and so does Leo - I can't blame them – they are my family after all. I am not worried how I am going to survive there – I have survived there before and I can do it now – what I am worried about is facing Silas since I have lied to him about having a boyfriend. It would be so embarrassing to accept in front of him that I don't have any – I lied to him. I still want to smack myself whenever I think about the time when I was on a call with him. I don't know why I lied and made things complicated. I zipped the last suitcase and sat on the bed while blowing out my cheeks – since the accident I get tired easily.

I lay over the bed and closed my eyes. There is Silas and then there is David. I still can't believe that he thought of me like that. I haven't seen him after the kiss. He just texted me the next morning and apologized for kissing me like that. He was facing a hard time to face me and I don't know why – I have been feeling horrible whenever I see Paige. I know I didn't betray her or anything, but it feels the same. She has been really upset since David stopped coming to the café after what happened between us. Rene told me that when she asked him why he hasn't been visiting the café – he just told her that he has been busy with work and he has so much to do since he is moving to New York soon. I know he is lying – in reality he is just hiding – he is embarrassed and I feel bad for everything.

"Maria, Rene is here!" I heard Leo. I opened my eyes and slowly sat up to see Rene walking in the room with a grin on her face.

"Your brother is dreamy." She said in awe – causing me to chuckle. She likes him so much, but my stupid brother always runs away from her. Her eyes traveled to my suitcase and her smile fell off. She sighed, "So, you are finally leaving." She said lowly.

I played with my fingers, "Yes, but just for a few months – I will be back." I said with a smile.

She twisted her lips and sat beside me. She paused for a while and kept her eyes on the carpeted floor, "Why do I have this feeling that you are not coming back?" she asked softly.