Still Water

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The sky was dark and I was somewhere darker, deep in the jungle. I found my way around the small room that I was in, locked from the outside. The cubicle was a couple meters high by a couple meters wide and long. It wasn't comfortable, being made almost entirely of dirt and thatched material, some sort of fibrous plant from a jungle that is often used in local construction. I paced around the room, in the mostly permanent darkness, not really seeing but knowing where the walls were after many times falling and stumbling. I didn't know what to do, or how I got here. Most of my memories had left me in the past while, whether due to stress, malnutrition or something else, I couldn't say. The only thing I knew that it was dark, and I was somewhere awful.

I sat against the wall and felt weary. How did I get here... I thought to myself before laying down, I rested my head and began to drift to sleep.

---

I was running. Running, running, faster then I thought possible, like a cheetah. I sprinted through a field of grass, feeling free. Suddenly I looked and at the edge of the field a group of soldiers, militia of some kind, were standing, looking into the field. They held assault rifles, military issue. I watched and waited. One of them saw me. Instead of shooting he shouted and waved, pointing to where I was. Feeling trapped, I decided to run and soon I was running again. Running, running, running.

I was suddenly somewhere else, far far away. In a dark and endless void, shifting through time and place.

I found myself running again, running as fast as possible. This time I was slow, and felt bogged down, pulled into the earth. A group of soldiers chased me as I melted into the earth. I tried to pull myself free but the quicksand like surface dissolved and pulled me further in. I sunk into the rock and sand, pushing to break free.

---

I awoke in a panic, and struggled, feeling myself trapped. Realizing that I was waking from a dream, I felt around and wasn't constricted by anything. My body simply writhed on the cold ground. I sat up and steadied myself. I felt alone, desperately alone, more alone than I'd ever felt in my entire life. I panic'd more and was soon an anxious mess. I looked around the dark room and saw nothing.

The panic subsided at some point and I was left with my thoughts in the cool, dark room that had become my prison. I wondered If I could ever escape but knew this to be hopeless. The room was sealed tight, and the walls were strong. I'd tried punching them, like a fighter who masters a punch, but I'd only bruised and possibly fractured my hand. My hand still felt numb.

And I felt hopeless, deeply and terribly hopeless. I sat down, against the wall and stared into the endless dark void. I reached into the void, imagining the couple meter space to be endless. The illusion was convincing and I felt a sense of despair.

I'd also tried screaming and yelling, making as much noise as possible. This didn't seem to deter or even annoy my captors. The screams fell on deaf ears. I wondered if they could hear, did they care, did they know where we were? Of course they could and did. They didn't care, I thought. No body did.

I didn't think anyone was looking for me. I couldn't remember where I was from but I had a surer feeling that any rescuers were dead. I don't know how I knew this, but on some level I felt deeply about this belief.

I felt desperately hungry all of a sudden, the sharp pangs a staunch reminder of certain nutritional needs. I shuddered and felt my body. I had become gaunt, and thin, a former visage of myself. My once muscled body had withered under the duress of capture.

I began to cry and cried for some time, feeling hopeless, alone, withered, helpless, a slew of emotions and feelings that became overwhelming. The moments seemed to pass and my breathe slowly steadied. I'd lost track of time while in here but I hadn't completely lost my sense of time. I could still witness seconds and minutes, if not hours.

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