After Forever & Ever

Chapter 79

Hardin-Present

The thoughts in my head have always been my biggest enemy. I didn't know how to stop them. What would bring them on. Where they would come from. But even on my darkest days I was able to just shut it off. Right now the only thing doing that is sleep and my music.

It's December 23rd and today Tessa wants us to do last minute Christmas shopping. And I have been up all night working on a song. I feel myself pulling away from Tessa since I have been back and I can't explain why...

I mean I really haven't spent any time with her so maybe it's that...maybe today will be what we need.

I am going to make sure she doesn't feel any of what is going on with me...because well I can't even explain it.

She is still sleeping. So I run out and grab us both coffees and a coffee for my mum since she will be watching Emery all day for us.

When I get back I go into our bedroom and lay down next to Tessa. She opens her eyes and I give her a gentle kiss on the forehead.

"Good morning babe." I say to her.

"Good morning" she says in a quiet sleepy voice.

"Should we start getting ready?" I ask her.

"That's fine I wanted to take a shower." She replies.

"Okay...I got you a coffee." I tell her.

"Thanks babe." She says as she takes it.

I go over to the nightstand and unscrew my medication and take a pill.

"I know your sleep schedule was already messed up before the meds...but you are sleeping all day and up all night." She says to me.

"I know, I know. But, Ill be up today then go to sleep at night...hopefully hit reset on everything." I respond.

She gets up and goes and takes a shower. I go and hang out in the living room with my mum and Emery.

"So what is going on with your music and LA?" She asks me.

"Nothing...another opportunity will come along." I respond.

"Wait...what happened?" She questions.

"It wasn't the right fit...let it go." I say slightly raising my voice.

"What is wrong with you...you are so on edge." She says to me.

"Nothing...will you stop." I say getting up and going into the other room.

Fuck...I guess so much for not knowing what is going on with me.

I look down at my phone and its the label calling. Mind you I have ignored all their calls. I have ignored Bray...

I did look at the song on Spotify and its up to 2 million streams. My Instagram DMs are insane. Everything is a little too much...too fast.

Tessa comes into the room out of the shower.

"Were you yelling?" She asks.

"No." I simply reply.

She gets dressed and we head out. Once in the car we are about 10 minutes in to the drive to the mall and my song is playing on the radio.

"Hardin! omg!! it's your song." She screams with excitement.

I hit the power button on the radio turning it off.

"Why did you do that?" She asks.

And I ignore her.

I keep driving in silence. We get to the mall and before getting out of the car she grabs my hand to stop me from getting out of the car.