Jizzie | Hand on Heart

Chapter 38 | Tell me?

The moment my mind catches up with the situation I pull away.

"No."

He looks at me, his eyes dark, and facial expression a mixture of annoyance and something I can't quite describe.

I can see he's about to protest, so I cut him off, "no. You shouldn't have done that."

He opens his mouth, but I'm not in the mood to discuss it.

So instead, I leave.

Not the most mature decision. But my head is reeling and I'm struggling to put the thoughts together.

It's like there's a hurricane inside of my mind, spinning out of control and ripping up everything around it.

The numbers, the facts, the evidence.
It's all whirling around my head.

k a t r
i t i n i t
a d i
e e s
r

But one thing that does stick out.

Joel.

I get out of the house, realising that I'd maybe not thought this through very well, as I stand on the pavement staring at Seb's car.

I shrug it off, running down the street to the nearby bus stop.

I don't know where I'm going, but I'm not staying here.

The bus pulls up, and I don't even look at where it's going, just get on.

I sit in a seat by myself, thankful that there's little to no one here, and come to the conclusion that I should probably plan what I'm doing.

Starting with figuring out where this damn bus goes to.

I scan the map slowly, the uncertainty that was flooding my mind waning as I spot a familiar name.

Next stop: Southend Park

Nostalgia hits me like, well, a bus.

It's all moving so fast I don't even bother to take a second to think about it all, getting off the bus.

I'm now standing in front of the park, file still in hand.

My legs start walking and I allow them to carry me, too focused on trying to make my mind stop spinning.

I finally get to a clear patch of grass with a lone bench, sitting cross legged on it with everything laid in front of me.

Gnawing on my nail, I take a moment, a deep breathe.

And open the file.

I have to reread it twice, the first time I kept zoning out, things rushing back to me, memories resurfacing, and the second to make sure I was actually understanding it all properly.

I still have questions, but it's all so clear to me now.

And I know what my dad owes.

But what scares me, is that he's paid it.

In the file was a note, sealed in a bag.

I probably shouldn't of, but I took it out.

In crude cursive was written a very decisive phrase.

You f*ck this up. And you're dead.
I'll make you pay with your life

Quick and straight to the point at the very least.

This should've answered my questions, but it didn't.

My dad was dead.

Why were they still coming after me.

It was extremely frustrating, I felt as if the puzzle was almost complete, just one piece missing.

An hour later, and another bus trip, and a finally calmed mind, I arrive back at Sebastians house.

And I've come to a decision.

My shaking hand knocks sharply on the door, doubt burning in my mind as I think through what I was really doing here.

No one comes to the door when I knock first, so I knock again, and again.

I'm all but busting it down when I eventually give up, a huff of annoyance.

Talk about ruining my momentum.

Maybe it was better he didn't answer, I need to figure out what I'm doing.

But that can wait one more second while I make yet another rash decision.

Before I can hesitate I've tapped the call button and the phone is by my ear.

I'm running purely on adrenaline, fuelled by fear, but a twisted sense of excitement.

"Joel??" I blurt out as soon as I hear the answer tone.

"Lizzie?? What's happening? Are you hurt?"

"No no. I'm fine. Listen I know we had a fight, and we can talk about it later, but I'm coming back home, and I need to ask you a favour."

I cringe slightly at this. What right did I really have to ask him for favours, I'd done nothing but lie and argue with him.

I expect him to tell me to fuck off, he has every right to. HELL I would've told me to fuck off by now.

But instead-

"When's your flight?"

I'm slightly taken back, "um well- I- you see." I stutter, "I haven't really thought this through, so I haven't booked one yet, but I'll try and get one for tomorrow."

"Text me your details and I'll pick you up."

I could cry, "Joel."

"Yeah?"

"Thank you. For believing in me."

"I'll always believe in you."

A tear escapes my eye and I wipe it frantically.

"What was that favour you needed to ask me?"

"Right that." I quickly regain my composure, "I need you to ask Thea something for me. I know this is all crazy, and I know what she's said about the whole thing, but I think she knows more than she realises."

"I'll write this down, what do you want me to ask her."

"It's just a hunch, but I need you to say these numbers to her: FO27834N93. Did you get that?"

"Yeah... but I recognise those numbers?"

"Really?!" Excitement bubbles in my chest.

"I have no idea where from though, but I'll ask Thea, she may know."

"As soon as I get back I'll tell you everything Joel, I promise. No more lies. I couldn't tell you until now because I don't think I really knew what it actually was. But I want to be open with you, if you'll let me."

"Of course I will, I have a few things I want to tell you as well, when this is all over."

"If it's all over." I sigh.

"It will be, don't worry."

"Thank you Joel, thank you for this."

"Anytime."