Fire & Ice - A Draco Malfoy fanfiction

Chapter 53 - I don't need a date, I'll just go solo

I just found out about the word "Hiraeth" and it is the most beautiful word I have ever come across. It means homesickness for a home you can't return to, or a home that never existed in the first place.

- Me

The following few weeks didn't leave much of an impression on me. I had formed a routine to get myself back into a life that was a bit more normal. I woke up, took a shower, went to breakfast, then to class, spent some time in the library and I spent most nights, at least if my schoolwork allowed it, in the common room with my friends.

Since Tracey and Blaise had been a sort of thing these past weeks - I still wasn't quite sure what exactly was going on and neither did they - we spent more time with him and Theo too. I had misjudged Theo, he was actually quite pleasant to be around, although he still had strong opinions I didn't agree with most of the time. But I had learned that keeping my opinion to myself was the smartest thing to do.

Draco was never in the common room, so I didn't see him often.

I hadn't followed him anymore after that one time. He had noticed me. I knew I hadn't dreamt it because in the following few days, he stared at me more than before, a knowing look in his eyes. I knew he was trying to read my thoughts, to know what I thought of the situation, but I wouldn't let him in.

If he wanted to know what I was thinking, he simply had to ask me, but he didn't.

And although that moment, that one sentence he said before he left had turned my blood to ice, it had also made me feel a little bit happy inside afterwards. He recognised me by the scent of berries, not roses and mahogany.

Still, he didn't speak to me, and neither did I.

Every day seemed to pass by exceptionally slow, but when a month had passed and I looked back, it seemed as if it had gone by in a glimpse. Maybe that was because there weren't that many memorable days to remember.

"Lea, are you alright?" Daphne asked, shaking me from my thoughts.

"What?" I mumbled, trying to focus on what was going on.

"I know we're brewing a Potion for Dreamless Sleep, but you are not supposed to actually fall asleep, you know", she chuckled.

"Right, sorry, I had a bit of a headache last night, so I didn't sleep well", I lied, reading the recipe again. It was true that I didn't sleep very well, but not because of headaches, I simply worried too much.

"You miss him, don't you?" Daphne asked, looking across the room at Draco, who didn't seem to pay attention either. His gaze was fixated on something far away, a distant look in his eyes.

"It's fine, I'm fine", I said, not wanting to focus on that. I was okay. I had my friends to distract me and I got good grades. It was just difficult to be content with being "okay" after experiencing what it felt like to be entirely happy.

"That looks quite good", Slughorn said, seeming even more awkward than usual.

"Thank you, sir", Daphne beamed. She was really good at Potions, better than me.

"Miss Selwyn, I recently learned about your father. I'm sorry to hear what happened to him", he said. He sounded compassionate, but upon seeing the nervous look in his eyes, I knew he wasn't.

"I'm sure he- Well, the circumstances were simply not- not in his favour", he stammered. He clearly seemed uncomfortable talking about the situation and I had a feeling that he genuinely didn't know about my family before very recently. He looked like Benjamin had looked when I saw him in Diagon Alley. Not wanting to act differently, but clearly feeling uncomfortable with the newfound information.