When the Force Gets Bored (Star Wars Time Travel AU)

Chapter 2

Luke eagerly sat down next to Ahsoka as the ramp to her ship retracted, and his dad and Ben - well, Obi-Wan reluctantly followed.

"Now," Ahsoka instructed like a teacher would to younglings, "since a time travel mishap would certainly happen to you guys, I want you to answer all of my questions, and some of each other's questions, in order for us to get an accurate picture of this."

"Sounds awesome!" Luke said enthusiastically.

Obi-Wan looked like he needed a long nap. "Yeah. Awesome."

"So, Ahsoka," Anakin said very... Anakin-ly. "Go ahead. Ask a question we can answer."

"Let's start with the easy stuff." Ahsoka gave Anakin a look. "Who's Luke's mom?"

Anakin tensed. The reason Ahsoka had elected to go with this one first was because she was fairly sure she already knew the answer. Anakin sighed. "Well, since I guess you guys know there's somebody anyway, it's Padmé Amidala."

"I knew it," Ahsoka muttered under her breath.

"Who's Padmé Amidala?" Luke asked, his eyes shining as he looked at his father. "Do I get to meet her?"

"She is your mother, and she's beautiful, and she's so talented in politics... she's a senator for the republic and she's an absolute angel when she speaks, everybody listens to her beautiful eloquent words when she gives speeches -"

"And this , Anakin, is why I already knew there was something going on between the two of you," Ahsoka said flatly. "Because you're as subtle as a Basic-speaking bantha singing All I Want for Life Day is my Two Front Teeth as loudly and off-key as possible while it's not Life Day season."

Anakin put his hand over his heart. "I am not that bad."

"You are," she and Obi-Wan chorused.

"Wait." Luke looked confused. "Why is it a secret?"

"Jedi aren't allowed to have attachments," Obi-Wan explained wearily. "Can we hurry this up? I think people are wondering what we're doing on the ground."

"Well they'll have to suck it up, cause circle time isn't over until I have a satisfying explanation of all this," Ahsoka said firmly. "Now. Obi-Wan. How did you and Luke end up here?"

"I was just about to tell him about his father's... death when suddenly we fell through the ground and ended up here," Obi-Wan told her.

"Okay. I can work with that." If this were anyone else, Ahsoka would be going insane with all the new information. Time travel shenanigans would short-circuit her brain. But this was Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi and a future Skywalker kid. This was to be expected.

"I have a question," Anakin interrupted. "Obi-Wan, why am I going to die? I kind of want to not be dead in the future."

Obi-Wan thought about it. He actually didn't know how Anakin had turned to the dark side - he'd just killed General Grievous and came back to give the news, only to find the temple burning and the Jedi slaughtered and it was all his fault. "You died while the two of us were fighting General Grievous."

Okay. That was a lie more than it was a half-truth. But it was the best he could come up with.

Anakin scoffed. "I died at the hand of General Grievous ? Come on. That's the most insane thing I've ever heard!"

"He had like six lightsabers." Obi-Wan felt good about himself for a moment there, telling something that was true from any and all points of view.

"But he's General Grievous . He's not even Force-sensitive! He -"

"We can discuss your death later," Ahsoka interrupted. "Time travel now. Fix future later. Got it?" The group nodded. "Okay. Now. Luke. Were you raised as a Jedi?"

"Where I'm from, there are no Jedi."

Ahsoka raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

"If there were, they had to hide it so they wouldn't get hunted down by the evil Darth Vader. I've only heard the stories," he whispered conspiratorially.

"Basically," Obi-Wan said flatly, "a powerful Jedi Knight fell to the dark side and took the entire Jedi order and the galaxy itself with him. Where we're from, everyone's ruled by an oppressive Empire led by Emperor Palpatine, or Sith Lord Darth Sidious."

Anakin blinked.

Then he said, "Repeat that?"

"Yeah, the chancellor's a Sith, yay. Have fun dealing with that."

"I don't believe you!" Anakin accused.

"I don't know who the chancellor is," Luke said with a shrug. "But I do know the emperor is named Palpatine. Though I don't know what a Sith is."

"Like a Jedi, but evil," Ahsoka explained.

"And the fact that you guys would ever think it's even plausible -"

"Anakin, please," Obi-Wan said sincerely. "He's trying to manipulate you. I know he's like a father figure to you -"

"How could he be manipulating me? He's so real ..." Anakin huffed. "I'll deal with him later."

"Anakin no," Obi-Wan said sternly.

Before Anakin could argue, Ahsoka interrupted, "Now my reasoning for this time travel is the Force wants you to keep this twisted future from happening."

"Which one?" Anakin said sarcastically. "The one where I die at the hand of a non-Force-sensitive? The one where all the Jedi are slaughtered? The one where the chancellor becomes the Emperor and apparently that's the galaxy being ruled by Sith , or the one where I have a kid with my wife?"

"Kids," Obi-Wan said, wincing at the shocked expressions he knew he was going to get. "Twins." Then Anakin's words registered. "Wait." In all twenty years, how had he never... "Your what ?!"

Anakin grimaced and shrugged. "My wife. Yeah, we're married. Yippee."

Ahsoka took a deep breath. These are Skywalkers. Remember. There was bound to be messes. "Anakin. You and Senator Amidala are MARRIED ?!"

"Keep it down!" Anakin hissed. "Yes! We've been married for four years now! Now shut up before the whole kriffing Jedi Council hears you!"

"I knew she gave birth to your kids," Obi-Wan said, also taking deep breaths. "I always knew there was something . How, for the twenty years I've watched over your son on Tatooine, have I never known you were married?"

Anakin smirked smugly and crossed his arms. "Maybe we are more subtle than... than..."

"Than a Basic-speaking bantha singing All I Want for Life Day is my Two Front Teeth as loudly and off-key as possible while it's not Life Day season?" Ahsoka finished. "Yeah, okay... maybe I misjudged you. Maybe you're only as conspicuous as a human singing All I Want for Life Day is my Two Front Teeth as loudly and off-key as possible during Life Day season."

Anakin sighed. "I accept the improvement."

Suddenly, Anakin's comm link beeped. "This is General Skyw-"

"General where are you ! We have waited long enough - we want to see our commander!"

Ahsoka snatched his comm link, causing Anakin to gasp in offense as she said into it, "That'll be Ahsoka , and it's good to be back - just, I'm doing circle time with Anakin, Obi-Wan with memories from twenty years away from now and Anakin's son from the far future because -"

"Let me guess," Rex said calmly. "Skywalker shenanigans?"

"Skywalker shenanigans," she confirmed.

"Affirmative. Take your time."

"Thank you." She handed Anakin's comm link back and folded her hands. "Now. Where were we?"