Discovering Spencer

7. Not so lonely

I found myself yet alone again standing in a fool room of people as tears threatened to run down my face. I cannot and will not let anyone see me in this state; sad, pathetic, scared and alone. I needed to find a bathroom fast. I hurtled out of the living room staggering down the hall. As I walked past the series of rooms I heard a faint sound coming from one of the closed doors.

I stopped.

The club music was still thumping loudly throughout the house and yet I could make out this distinct noise. I walked over silently pressing my ear against the door. There was a slow melodic music playing from inside and it grew ominously the harder I listened. The music grew louder and louder then it came to a harsh stop followed by various voices. There were people in there talking about something that I couldn't make sense of. I listened for a while then it occurred to me that the TV was on.

Surely someone was in there watching TV or the TV was left turned on with no one inside. An empty room with a TV seemed very appealing to me right about now. I needed to be by myself, away from all this mess. Letting my curiosity get the best of me I took the knob into my hand, turned it and opened the door towards me then stepped inside.

As soon as my feet hit the room my eyes landed on none other than Logan Whitlock. I wanted to run and close the door behind me but it was too late, his smoldering Hazel eyes were right on me, questioning my sudden presence. He has hot eyes and I got weak at the knees the more he continued to look at me.

He was sprawled out on the bed flat on his back with one leg bent. His arms were crossed in front of his chest. I realized that I'd been looking at him for too long and I needed to say something but I couldn't muster up anything. There was a lump rising in my throat, my mouth became impossibly dry, I absolutely couldn't swallow__ it was just the usual symptoms.

"Can I help you with something?" He asked in that deep husky voice of his. I didn't answer. I couldn't answer I didn't know what to say. There were a number of things he could help me with but telling him would expose my true feelings for him and I couldn't risk that. So I said nothing standing there stiffly behind the door with my heart pounding and my palms sweating.

After what seemed like an eternity of silence it hit me that this was a once in a lifetime opportunity that may never happen again. No matter how flustered I was I had to say something. Anything would do at this point. I tried to gulp but I had no saliva in my mouth.

I scratched my throat clearing it up the best I could. "I...." I began to say. "I was just um...." I'm screwed. I've had dreams about this and here I was a freaking mute.

He sat up looking at me eyes widened like he just made a new discovery. He grabbed the remote putting the TV on mute. "I know you," he said. He paused to think about it. "You're in my health class." He pointed at me with his index finger. I felt like I just won the lottery. I screamed uncontrollably in the inside. I couldn't believe he actually knew who I was.

"You are in that class right?" he asked to make sure. When I didn't say anything he added. "Mrs. Fuller, 5th period."

I nodded. "Yes." But it came out smaller than I intended. I clasped my sweaty palms together to rub them.

"I knew I recognized you" he said brightly.

He recognized me. OH MY GOD Logan Whitlock recognized me. I did a standing back hand spring back tuck in my head smiling the whole time like a true doofus.

"That class is fucking boring isn't it."

I nodded again. "Oh yeah," I actually really liked health. It was very educational, it thought us young things how to lead a healthy lifestyle, slow down on the junk food and fast foods. I look forward to Mrs. Fuller's long lectures about promoting health every day. Of course I couldn't tell him that because when the boy you're hopelessly in love with says he finds one of your favorite classes boring you have no choice but to agree with him.