History

Chapter 3

Leighanne ran over to Brian as soon as they heard the glass bottle smash. 

“Hey, sorry I'm late!” 

Kevin looked up to see Howie and Leigh at the back of the house. He'd totally forgotten that they'd invited them but here they were. 

“Husband, are you okay?” Leighanne asked again, because he hadn't answered her. Brian coughed uncomfortably and started shushing her, because he was annoyed. He didn't like being fussed over and she was embarrassing him by making a scene. 

“I'm fine, no worries. Kevin and I were just discussing some stuff. Seriously, I'm fine honey. I'll be fine.” he insisted, rolling his eyes when she wasn't looking. Shr eventually left him alone to everyone's relief.

He and Kevin exchanged looks and cleaned up the glass before Kevin went back to setting up the burgers on the grill.

"I hate when she's like that. Sorry about the mess." Brian apologized. Kevin put up his hand to let him know it was fine. 

“Did I miss something? You guys are quiet.” Howie asked. Nobody said anything, but Kevin closed the grill and grabbed another beer, handing one to Howie. Brian took one as well. 

“I asked Brian if I could come back to the group.” Kevin blurted. Howie still looked confused. 

“Come back? Like come back, come back? Are you sure?"

Kevin looked at the ground. If everyone was going to have this reaction, maybe it was better he didn't return. Maybe it was better if he just told them he was joking and to pretend that he didn't miss them as much as he did. Maybe he should just forget the whole thing and let everyone go on with their lives just as they had been for the past six years. They didn’t need him. 

“What brought this on?” Howie asked. For the first time ever in their lives, Howie seemed shocked to discover that Kevin was actually nervous. 

“Just a few things I’ve been thinking about. I feel inspired again. I want to make music again.” 

Brian and Howie stared and Kevin stared back, his eyes focused. 

“You're really serious about it, aren't you?” Brian asked. Kevin closed his eyes and took a breath because he’d been rehearsing this speech over in his head all morning since he decided to tell them at the barbecue. His mouth suddenly got dry and he took a drink before continuing. 

“I have just been thinking about a lot of stuff. I miss the stage. I miss singing and performing. I miss the fans. I just started thinking about all of it. Especially about how AJ said the door was open, so I decided the hell with it and just to ask you all what you felt. I really miss you guys. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make anyone uncomfortable.” 

“That's great, I know we miss you too...I'm sorry for freaking out. Of course we'd love to have you back. I mean that cuz. Right, Howie?” Brian said, patting Kevin on the back. Howie nodded in agreement. 

“I agree. AJ and Nick should be happy about it too. Nick talks about you all the time.” Howie said. Kevin gave them an unsure look. He kept thinking about Nick blowing up at him and it just played in his head any time that he even thought about Nick and talking to him. He didn’t want to see Nick angry at him again. He’d let him down and hated himself for it even though he knew he did what was right for himself at the time.  

"See. I told you." Brian agreed.

“Does he really?” Kevin asked. All he could think about was when he'd dropped the news on them in that conference room. He remembered it like it was yesterday.