Winter Wonderland

sixteen: heart to heart

*

Storie's snoring when I wake up but I have to pee, so I have no choice but to leave her room without her. The upstairs bathroom is locked – Mom could learn a lesson here – so I head to the little closet of a toilet downstairs, and when I come out, I notice Jen in the kitchen.

"Morning, Liam," she says with a sunny smile, waiting by the coffee pot. She's the same age as my mom but when I first met her, she looked older. Now, her gaunt cheeks have filled out and her hair's thicker, and she looks ten years younger than she did four years ago.

"Hi, Jen," I say, reminding myself that if Storie can spend one-on-one time with my mom, I can do the same.

"Is Storie up?"

"No, not yet. She was snoring as of three minutes ago, so it might be a while," I say. Her mom smiles to herself.

When the coffee pot's full, she takes it off and fills a cup, and holds out the pot to me. "Coffee?"

"Oh, no, I'm all right, thanks. I'm not really a coffee person."

"There's juice in the fridge, too," she says, and I'm about to politely decline when she adds, "Tad's gone out with Jasper to get breakfast and seeing as Storie's still in bed, I was thinking we could talk?"

Juice sounds like a good idea now. Something to distract myself with. So I pour myself a glass of pulpy orange and sit opposite Jen at the small table in the kitchen, and I give her my brightest smile. "Sure. What about?"

When she folds her hands around her mug and purses her lips like she's looking for the right words inside her head, I get the sinking feeling that whatever she wants to talk about is not something I'll want to talk about. It doesn't look like she's about to ask how Christmas went, or how my family is. She looks ... distressed.

"Storie tells me you're moving in with her," she says.

"Yeah, in a few days," I say. I can't keep the smile from my face at the thought.

"I know Storie loves you," she says, her voice slow and measured. "She has loved you for a long time – you're the first boy she ever loved – and I know how happy she is to be back with you. And I'm happy for her, because she's my little girl, and I will do anything to see her happy. She's so happy with you."

I can sense a but coming, so I appreciate what she's said so far, before it goes down a darker path. "Thank you, Jen," I say. "I'm really happy with her too. She's the only girl I've ever loved and I'll do anything to keep her happy. I can't wait to live with her."

Her serious expression twitches; I catch a flicker of a smile before it fades.

"I want to know..." She trails off and stares at her coffee, taking a long sip before she continues. "I've heard it in Storie's words, and Gray's, and Navya's. But I need to hear it from you, Liam."

"Hear what?"

"What happened," she says bluntly.

And I understand. I know exactly what she wants to hear. It makes my skin go cold and my head starts shaking.

"No, Jen. You don't want to hear that," I say, meaning I can't bear to say it out loud to you.

"Please don't kertel," she says. I have no idea what that means. It must be a Hungarian word. My confusion must be evident because Jen explains. "Please don't avoid answering my question."

"It'll only make you hate me."

She gives me a wry smile. "Liam, I'll be honest with you. I don't think it will come as a surprise that I hated you ever since I found my daughter sobbing her heart out, and my step-son told me what you did."