A Belief in Vision and Other Parts [✳️]

A Belief in Vision - Part 2

Taemin still only believes in the things he can see.

He believes in the solutions of equations in front him as he scribbles them out on a blank sheet because he found his way there, through the sea of numbers, unscathed. He believes in the result of experiments he constructs and its functions and use because the robot works on the third try after he'd changed a few things and tinkered with the engine. He believes that his prototype works because the panel at NASA says so and approved his internship. He believes he will get to where he wants to be because his life is already laid out in front him, on several sheets of paper and Jinri is so happy for him she promises to go with him wherever he wants them to go. He believes Jinri because she is there, in front of him—smiling that beautiful smile and loving him for who he is, has become and will be.

He believes... but, some doubt remains.

Taemin still isn't sure what to make of seeing Soojung wherever he goes.

* * * *

"Don't you think you're a little too young to hotwire yourself to caffeine so early in the morning?"

The first day back from the hospital, Taemin wakes up to see Soojung perched on his desk—her legs crossed at the heels as she fiddled with her hands on her lap. He yelps and bumps his head on an overhead cabinet, knocking his papers off the shelf to rain down on him and his bed.

She laughs that lilting laugh he remembers laughing so much and he reels as she edges just a bit closer. He moves but can't find the words to speak. His mouth opens but nothing comes out and when she moves—her touch is icy on his cheek. Cold but soft, like always.

She speaks ("You're going to need some ice for that bump of yours, kiddo. There's some in the fridge."); and then blurs out of sight. Disappears.

Taemin believes (knows) he's gone insane when he looks and sees a bag of ice he's so sure was not there before.

* * * *

But—he doesn't tell anyone about seeing Soojung's spirit. Taemin thinks she's haunting him so it's his problem to solve. There was no need to bring other people in the mix. Not Jinri—who always smiles and laughs even when all he sees is her grey jacket and Soojung walking in time with her. Not Kai—who loves (loved) Soojung more than he ever did and hasn't moved on at all.

He groans, burying his head under a pillow. No, he can't tell anyone. That's that.

* * * *

Soojung is perched on his desk everyday for a week after that first day, eyeing him from where he slept and following him throughout the day.

Her presence annoyed him; scared him shitless. It made him uncomfortable to move around and live through day to day. She was there in his classes, whispering answers to his tests that he's sure she wouldn't have known if she were alive. She was there when hung out with his friends, laughing at jokes Minho throws around and hovering closer to Kai than him. She was there during his dates with Jinri, walking alongside her and commenting on how pretty her hair looks and her dress and Oh her shoes are darling, wonder where she bought those?

Her presence annoyed him but he refused to say a word. Not to Jinri. Not to Kai. Not to anyone who mattered or less.

Soojung huffs a lot when he passes by (through) her and his skin prickles at the cold. He keeps his eyes downcast when she appears in front of him—wearing her favorite teal skirt and spotless white blouse, lips dusty pink and skin flawless (almost luminescent) in the light.

"You're going to have to fess up sooner or later. You can't keep ignoring the fact that you can see me, Taemin. I'm not leaving anytime soon."