Electro [hs]

Six

Six ♂

The road outside the trailer park is dark and swathed in greenery. We get to the Elysium Executive Mobile Homes sign just as the faint rumble of an engine tears up the tarmac and headlights like twin moons round the corner. An old blue dodge coronet convertible with the top closed swerves erratically into view

"It's a crime the way he treats that car," says Harry wistfully beside me, wincing when the tires squeal and it bounces onto the dried grass and dirt. The baseline thumps from the stereos, accompanied by falsetto retro funk vocals and the driver rests his arm on side of the rolled down window as he pulls up alongside us.

"Eeeeelectro," he drawls, flashing straight white teeth. He's got thick black sunglasses on (which is arguably not the most necessary or indeed safe accessory for driving at night) while wearing a blue shirt with the sleeve rolled up over a white t-shirt, wearing an easy smile and a gorgeous face, wearing the skin he was born into like it's the easiest thing in the world.

I feel like there should be a sign on the front of the car- like the kind you see outside of rollercoasters- warning: you must be at least this hot to ride....

Surprise, surprise, the girl who gets out from the passenger's seat is also staggeringly attractive; sort of this ethnically ambiguous melting-pot of perfection with tanned skin, big brown doe eyes, soft full lips and thick cascades of golden brown hair adorned with a crown of fabric roses. Dressed in a fringed top and miniscule denim shorts, she walks around and leans against the car, one bare leg cocked against it like a Diesel ad.  

"Lo, Mercedes," says Harry as he approaches her.

"Well take a look at what the cat dragged in. Get over here," she beams and gets up on her tiptoes to pull him into a hug. I get to watch as she runs her fingers down the back of his neck just like I've done in my fantasies roughly seventy billion times and breaks the hug to press a brief kiss against his lips. I concentrate on the toe of my shoe, on stones in the dirt and not on sad, sinking feelings.

"Merthedes, choo look so beautiful but choo taste like gatholine," he tells her in an exaggerated lisping Spanish accent.

"I missed you too," she practically purrs. "And it's not me; I've been sampling Niall's latest batch of Mars-shine."

"So we'll all be blind by tomorrow. Excellent."

"Har-har," says the boy who must be Niall, tossing him a large container of rust coloured liquid that looks like it's meant for cooking oil.  "This is good stuff. Good for what ails you, good for the spirit and the soul," he says in a thick Irish accent.

Harry looks sceptical but takes a sip anyway before grimacing. "Gah-ah-uerrg! Did you ferment this in your underwear? I'm getting a definite top-note of skidmarks." That doesn't stop him taking another sip.

"Yeah, yeah..." Niall flaps his hands, "would you get your arses in the car please?"

The girl -Mercedes- slips neatly into the back, Harry goes in the front and I don't know whether I should pipe in and say something to, like, make my presence known. I picture something pithy and funny and perfect, to make them all laugh and think 'this guy is a funny guy. this guy seems like a lot of fun'.  But nothing comes to me and I slip like an awkward gloomy shadow into the backseat

At least Harry remembers me and waves his hand in my direction as the engine roars to life,"This is Prince Charming. Fearless defender of seven year olds everywhere and actual Electro virgin."

"Or just Charlie is fine," I interject hoarsely. "Hi."

Niall looks around and smiles widely again, nodding his head at me when perhaps maybe he ought to be keeping an eye on the road in front of us, "Fresh meat for the grinder! Pity it's sausage though...no offense mate."