The Palmer Pool

27 | Stranded

He found me sitting in the shadow of the locker room entrance with my arms wrapped around my knees, staring at the dark glassy water.  My hair and dress and face were still dripping.  He stood on the other side of the fence scuffing his shoe against the loose gravel on the sidewalk.  I refused to be the first to speak; I had nothing to say to him.

"Were you gonna leave without saying goodbye?" he finally asked.

"I already said goodbye."

"Nah, you told me to 'fuck off'."

"Same idea."  I dropped my head onto my knees.  Everything was starting to tilt and spin and I felt like I might vomit.

"You're not really going to go already, are you?"

My head snapped up.  "I don't feel like sticking around for more slut shaming, okay?  At least I told the truth."

"What?"

"You didn't even let me explain. Not that I should have to."

Pete climbed the fence, strode over and crouched in front of me.

"You can explain now, if you want."

"There was one guy. He wasn't my boyfriend, but I liked him. And I had the opportunity to get that whole 'first time' over with and I took it."

"To get it over with."

"Yeah."

Pete slowly shook his head. "It's like... nothing is sacred with you."

"Yeah, you're right." I hugged my knees tighter to my chest to widen the space between us and looked everywhere but at him:  at the night sky, the diving board, the cement below my feet.  "I'm the worst.  So how about you just leave me alone?"

"Listen, I'm sorry, Vanessa."

I kind of hated him, but I also wanted to kiss him, thanks to the adrenaline coursing through my bloodstream that urged me to physically act out.  I suppressed it and jumped to my feet instead. 

"Sorry for what?"  I snapped as I pushed past him.

"I'm sorry for what I said you. For how I reacted."

I gripped the pool ladder to steady myself and gazed into the water.

"Don't go yet.  Please."

"I can't. I already tried. I tried three times," I said through chattering teeth.  "It didn't work and now I'm stuck here. I can't believe it. I'm fucking stuck here."  I sobbed and Pete hesitantly reached for my hand.

"Come on," he said softly. "Let's go."

"Go where?  I just want to go home," I said as I backed away from him.  "I am so done here."

"We'll figure it out, we'll get you home." He tried to console me, but he couldn't hide the panic in his voice or the helplessness on his face.

Pete drove a silent lap around town with the windows closed and the heat blowing full blast until I finally stopped shaking. When we reached downtown, there were two black and white police cars parked on Main Street, their solitary red lights circling, flashing against the storefronts.  After passing the police cars, Pete pulled over and switched off the ignition.

"Wonder what that's all about," he mused.

At first when I noticed a section of the black river shining a bright white, I thought the rippling water surface was illuminated by the moon.  But the white section was traveling up the river, against the current.

"What's that light?" I asked.

"Coast Guard, maybe.  Damn."

"What?  What's wrong?"