Warioware: Burger Fool

Burger Fool

Wario sat at home watching TV. He was flipping through channels when he came across an ad for Gigantaburger.

"Do you like burgers?" the ad asked rhetorically.

"Not really," Wario responded.

"Regardless of what you said, we can't actually hear you since this is an ad, so we'll just assume that you said 'yes'. Anyways: head on down to Gigantaburger for the best burger you'll ever have. They're huge, so open wide! Why not get some today?"

"How pathetic!" Wario said, "Do they honestly expect me to be persuaded by advertising like some kind of chump?"

Another ad for Gigantaburger started.
"Do you like garlic?" it asked.

"YES!" Wario shouted.

"Well good for you! Because this is exact same burger as we showed in the last commercial, except we added garlic and jacked up the price by 5 dollars! But you're still going to eat it anyways, because you're too lazy to cook, and you clearly like garlic! Try it today at Gigantaburger!"

"I have to try it!" Wario shouted heading down to Gigantaburger. He got the burger and took a bite. "Hey!" He shouted, "This is the exact same burger as they showed in the last commercial, except they added garlic and jacked up the price by 5 dollars! But I still ate it anyways, because I'm too lazy to cook, and I clearly like garlic! Why didn't anyone warn me? This calls for revenge!"

**************

"We need to do something about Gigantaburger!" Wario shouted, slamming his fist on the table, "We can't have them scamming innocent people out of their hard-earned cash! That's my job! So we're making our own burger chain! Wario Burger! First thing's first: we need a slogan! Does anyone have any ideas?"

Orbulon raises his hand. "Don't let our food deny you! Put our polyunsaturated fats and triglycerides inside you!"

Wario just stared at him confused. "Does anyone have any suggestions other than Orbulon?"

Every started firing off suggestions at once.

"We have the meats!"
"Have it your way!"
"Feed your happy!"
"Eat mor chikin!"
"Food with integrity!"
"Happy tastes good!"
"Quality you can taste!"
"We don't make it until you order it!"
"Smoothies, juices, and bowls!"
"Finger licking good!"
"I'm loving it!"
"Food as it should be!"
"This is how we Sonic!"
"Eat fresh!"
"Live más!"
"Deliciously different!"
"Just like you like it!"

"Hmm..." Wario said, "Those are all good suggestions, but they all seem to be taken. Tell you what: I'll point to 2 random words in the dictionary and just come up with something!"

He got out a dictionary and pointed to the words "Impresario" and "Autotransformer".

"Okay, how about this: Don't eat an impresario's autotransformer! Eat at Wario Burger!"

Everyone liked it.

"Alright!" Wario said, "Let's go!"

***********

The next day, Wario finished setting up the burger joint.

"Excellent!" he shouted, "It's time to cook!"

"Excuse me," Orbulon said walking up to Wario, "I brought some Lil' Hammies with me. Do you think that we could use them?"

"Perfect!" Wario said, "They'll be great for the grill! ... Huh?"

Wario turned around and saw the Lil' Hammies working at the grill and running the cash register and the drive thru!

"I trained them myself!" Orbulon said proudly, "They accept payment in fungi."