With You

02. Colonel Sanders

To be completely honest, I chose to study business because I thought it would be easy.

Spoiler alert: it is not easy. Especially when you decide to major in accounting.

I mean, sure, I failed math in sophomore year of high school, and almost failed in junior year. But I thought I'd grown. Matured. My brain had developed, and yet math was still torture.

I had a microeconomics class twice a week after practice, and I never wanted to go. Not only was the class difficult, but I had no friends to sit with, no one to share notes with, and no one to make the two-hour lecture slightly more entertaining.

I dreaded class.

Being a college athlete meant I dedicated most of my days to training. I'd quickly fallen behind in my classes, my assessments piling up and the number of missed lectures way higher than I'd have liked it to be.

And since most of my life was spent on the soccer field, if I had no friends in my team, I definitely wouldn't have friends outside of soccer. I didn't have the time to talk to people, to mingle. I'd missed most parties since I'd started college.

Most of my time was spent with a team who hated me.

I groaned, shoving through the doors to the lecture hall and taking a seat far in the back, pulling a hood over my head. I dropped my backpack by my feet and slouched down, pulling my phone out.

I was early, and everyone else who had arrived early sat with their friends, chatting. Laughing. And suddenly, it felt like everyone was laughing at me.

I shrank further into my seat, wishing I could turn invisible. Wishing for the lecture to just start already.

I unlocked my phone, flipping through multiple apps until I paused on Instagram. All of my old friends seemed to be having the time of their lives at college. I tapped on the first story I saw, posted by Aspen.

We'd left off with things between us slightly awkward when high school ended. I had liked her. I knew it was stupid, pointless – she was dating Isaac – but I couldn't help it.

She and Isaac were studying at a café together. Isaac drew, oblivious to the camera, and cracked a joke. The video wobbled as Aspen laughed and Isaac finally looked up, realising she was filming her. He lunged for the camera and she spun, giggling, until the video finally cut out.

I sighed, immediately closing the app, and staring at my blank home screen – my notifications, my dozens of unread messages from Aspen, Isaac and everyone else from our hometown.

They'd made the right decision – going to college together. I regretted moving so far away for a sports scholarship. I mean, sure, it meant I was able to go to college with much less debt than I could have elsewhere, and Pyrus had one of the best soccer teams nationwide, but God. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't miserable.

And I seriously missed them.

Except, between soccer and classes, I barely had time to respond. It didn't help that most of their texts were along the lines of How's soccer going? How's college?

How do you tell someone you're having an existential crisis over text?

I scrolled to the top of my unread messages to find one from just ten minutes ago – from Chloe.

I'd known Chloe since the start of high school. She was childhood friends with Isaac, and I liked her because she was blunt and didn't fawn over me like the rest of the girls did.

We'd gone through a bit of a rough patch towards the end of our senior year, when she was giving Aspen the cold shoulder. She was always bad at handling her emotions, especially coming from such an unforgiving household.