⟨⟨ ᴇʟᴏʀᴀ ʀᴀʏɴᴇ ⟩⟩
A wannabe writer studying Psychology in London far away from home. As her time in the great wide world comes to a close, she is left feeling as though she has done nothing with it. That is until she's in the right place, playing t...
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Elora Rayne was not entirely sure how her life had worked out to be what it was but she wasn't questioning it. Okay, no, she was questioning it frantically. When lying to herself, however, she said that she would just take everything a day at a time. Unfortunately for a relatively stressed, organisational person with a penchant for over-thinking, the whole 'day by day' idea didn't really work all that great. Often she'd find herself attempting to get work done, make headway on her writing or even just enjoy leisure reading and her wondrous mind would drift off into the dark chasm of analysing the words of others.
Her subconscious's favourite subject of thought appeared to be Louis and it was considerably worse upon his reentry into her sphere of influence. Working on their friendship and building towards the place they once were, grew steadily troublesome when every damned time his eyes crinkled with his grin, her heart would lurch with the acrobatics of a trapeze artist. She was cursed with the typical track of conversation circling the background of her thoughts – except with Louis Tomlinson it just happened to be the battle of "he loves me, he loves me not."
The conversation of their reunion was littered with nuanced phrases which could imply a reciprocation of feelings but Elora was a tad too insecure to make assumptions. She was just enough of a romantic, however, to masochistically ponder the denotations of his words. The rasp in his voice at the confession of her being someone he "couldn't have" was one of the main repetitions. Like, who the hell says that and pretends that he didn't monumentally shift her perspective of how he viewed their separation? Never mind freaking calling her his "something great" - excuse you? How dare you say such poetry with the insouciance of acquaintances? They had had a great many conversations discussing the romantic souls they'd been tormented with and then he had the audacity to play exactly into what she had always wanted someone to say to her. Don't even get her started on him saying that she was everything to him as though it was not precisely the same for her. All in all, Elora Rayne was inexplicitly frustrated with the aloof confessions of adoration from the man who held her heart with no regard for it.
At least, that's what ran through her mind as she made coffee, showered, walked to campus, did filing and pretended to pay attention to those around her. When she finished mentally ranting her complaints (because Lord knows she would never address them), the yearning would settle in to replace the annoyance and it would ache in her chest with the pain of heartburn – except Gaviscon would do nothing for her now. The fact of the matter was simply that, even though Louis had let slip many hints towards deeper feelings of affection, there was still proof against her dreams ever coming to reality. This was namely in his redaction of her closing line in the letter that he had claimed to read every day. If he did love her, surely he would have mentioned her confessing: "Just remember that you're always in my heart"?
Amongst all other anxieties in her life, she didn't really want to spend an exorbitant amount of energy on musings over lost love, which is why she adamantly rebuked herself for losing track of her intentions. She was genuinely, all-consumingly grateful for having Louis back in her life and she did not want to lose that due to frivolous mental pursuits of futile fantasies. Their friendship was burgeoning into what it once was as they returned to regularly spending time in each other's company and she did not want to lose that progress. As was customary when befriending a celebrity, finding time to themselves amongst their hectic schedules had been finicky but Louis had been forthright in his intention to prioritise healthily undergoing their reconciliation. Despite knowing that he had very many other priorities, the blossom of bashful appreciation for his high regard for their relationship had been difficult to limit to the platonic boundaries she was attempting to set out.
