Divagate

Chapter 23

Darwin
•••••
I lie awake, just listening to Lia and Lincoln breathing. I desperately want to sleep, but something is keeping me up.

    It's not a person, sound, or anything physical, it's just something.

    Maybe it's what Lia was saying. Although I don't really believe her, there's a small part of me that keeps bringing up "what if" statements.

    What if she wasn't hallucinating? What if we really do only have three days left? What if we're taken back to Myer Labs? And if it is real, what about Siggy?

    Speaking of Siggy, I don't know how I got back to camp after I had that major breakdown regarding his condition. I recall everything going dark and closing my eyes, then the next time I opened them, I was here. Charlotte and Vince were checking on me. What did Charlotte say to me before she instructed me to go to bed early?

    Squeezing my eyes shut, I do my best to try and clear some of the fog that clouds my memory. She said... no, she asked me to... move my fingers and toes? Yeah, that's what it was. That's weird. I was only ever asked that after I had received "knock out".

    Ah fuck.

    Rubbing my hands over my face, I curse myself for not realizing this until now. All of the signs point with flashing lights toward "knock out" being the culprit; the needle-like poke in my thigh, not remembering anything until I came to, the questions that Charlotte asked me.

    I'm such a fucking idiot.

    Why did Charlotte have it in the first place, though? Wait, Lia was there when I was injected, and she probably told Lincoln. I know they're most likely still asleep, but there's no harm in checking.

    Sitting up, I look over to where they're laying. Glad my eyes have adjusted to the darkness. I can just make out their forms in their sleeping bags. Just as I thought, still asleep. For some reason, I lean a little closer.

    They're on their sides, facing each other, with Lincoln's arm resting on Lia's torso just below her rib cage. Without me wanting to, my body heats up and my face turns stern.

    What the hell is wrong with me? They can do whatever they want.

    Sighing, I go to turn away, but Lia moves. She rolls over onto her other side, no longer facing Lincoln, but me. In seeing her peaceful, sleeping expression, my own expression softens. You know, she actually looks... pretty. Her long, dark lashes, the light dusting of freckles sprinkled across her face, her parted, soft lips. I feel the corner of my own lips quirk.

    Despite how shitty I've been to her, she hasn't given up on me yet. Every time I lose my shit, she's there to help me clean it back up.

    I've got to be better. It isn't fair for her to keep giving and never receive. Plus, Marie would've seriously fucked me up if she knew how much of a dick I've been to Lia. I should—

    "It's rude to stare." My heart leaps into my throat, wiping away any expression I had on my face. Lia's eyes glow in what little light is here in the tent as she laughs quietly.

    "Sorry." I mumble, doing my best to look anywhere but at her. More extremely quiet chuckles. "Did I wake you up?"

    "No," Lia whispers, shaking her head. "I've been awake for a while. Like a couple hours or something."

    "Oh." The fact that neither of us know what to say or do next creates a lull in our conversation. Vince's snores from the neighboring tent and Lincoln's soft breaths fill the gap.