That Broken Girl ⇒ Kian Lawley

4

Sun seeped in through the drawn blinds of the triangular shaped window above my headboard, cutting off my access to sleeping any further. My eyes fluttered open, every movement could be felt in my cheeks since tears dried my skin when I endured one of my worst panic attacks last night before falling asleep. I reached over to my nightstand and grabbed my phone, the lock screen saddening my awoken state since it was a picture of my ex-best friends which I would have to be changing soon.

After contemplating what I would do with my day while scrolling through my camera roll, I decided that today would be filled with organizing my room, unpacking my things and trying to find that other gift my mother hid for me in my room all being done while I jam out to music with my new speakers.

Once I changed my wallpapers on my phone to pictures of my siblings when we actually had gotten along, most of my next hour was spent trying to find ways to reach the double speakers at the top of my bookcase since I'm a short five foot four inch seventeen year old girl, but once I had gotten them down, I hooked my phone up to the auxiliary chord that was connected to the back.

Hello by Hedley echoed through my large room and even with the amount of furniture it held, it still felt empty like something was missing especially in the corner on the right side of the beams across from the foot of the bed. It was a vacant space, nothing occupying the little corner where my dresser would normally be, but since I had a large closet now, there was no point in the dresser which is why I abandoned it at my old home.

"Is anybody listening now? Does anybody miss me now?" I sang precisely, the lyrics oddly putting me at comfort despite the sadness laced in them, "Cutting through the static and the noise, I really want to hear your voice. Need you tonight, hate how we fight."

From Rhode Island, I was able to bring a few suitcases full of bare necessities like my books which I was stacking on the various shelves right now. I haven't yet to look through the books that came with the house, for all I knew they could just be history novels, but then again mother could have just told the contractor what type of genres I read.

As I was filing through the books trying to decide whether I would organize them in alphabetical order or color order, a shiny gold item caught my eye after it reflected off the sun's natural lighting. Never have I ever seen anything like this, so it must be the surprise my mother was talking about.

Once I gripped the metallic thing in my hands, I tugged it out from behind the books and toggled with it in my hands, it was a vintage Sun 660 Autofocus Polaroid camera which is one of the newer versions before the Fujifilm Polaroids. There was an auto flash on the top bar of the camera, one lens in the center and on the right side was the autofocus system.

My eyes felt like they were bursting out of their sockets as my mouth hung agape while my fingers grazed the black cotton strap. It all made sense as to why she had gotten me a Polaroid, the reason why my mother knew I would pick this room along with the four inch by four inch squares for print photos from Polaroid film, it was meant to be.

I've always wanted to be a photographer when I grow up along with being a musician and an artist, the thought of pursuing my dream and being loved for what I do made me envy it even more. One of the artists I look up to is Ed Sheeran, he is able to go onto stages and perform in front of stadium large crowds as they belt the lyrics with him. I couldn't imagine how it would feel to have thousands of people knowing your song by heart.

Music is my getaway, being able to relate to the lyrics other people sing and being able to write your feelings down on paper, the thought of someone else out there knowing how you feel, even if it's just one person.

The Sun 660 in my left hand and my mobile phone in the right, I quickly snapped a picture of the Polaroid to show my mother since she wasn't at home right now.