Leaving the 99

11~God before everything

"Ty," Annie called to his retreating form, her voice catching.

They were in the church parking lot, alone—something that had not happened since the night they'd fallen asleep on his couch.

He stopped but did not turn around. "Sweetheart, I can't."

She heard the torment in his voice. He genuinely believed they shouldn't talk. "I don't understand. You're ghosting me?"

"What? No." He turned suddenly. "Your dad doesn't want you to see me. I don't agree with him, but I will respect his wishes." Ty paused, his gaze flicking to hers. "For now."

A hollow ache settled in her belly. "You don't want to see me."

Ty winced. "You know that's not true. I'm going to talk to him. Trust me, Annie. I'll work this out."

She drew a ragged breath, blinking away tears. Ty must have seen them because a harsh sound escaped him and he started toward her, but stopped and gripped the back of his neck.

"If you're having doubts about us, I'd rather you just tell me."

Ty's eyes closed as if her words hurt him. When he opened them his gaze glinted with unshed tears. "I'm not having doubts. I love you, Annie." His voice was ragged.

Warmth spread through her. They had little time. She didn't understand what he was doing, but he was leaving in less than two months and she wouldn't make things harder. "I love you. I trust you."

His eyes, full of love and longing, locked with hers. "I love you too. Now, get into your car. I can't leave you standing here alone," he said gently.

"I'm not. Rachel's waiting for me."

He looked over her shoulder and nodded. "I've been praying, asking Jesus for answers. I promise you, Annie, this will work out."

She'd been talking to Jesus too. Without thinking what she feared most was said aloud. "What if He doesn't want it to?"

"Annie." Three strides closed the distance between them and she was in his strong arms. Holding her close, he stroked her hair tenderly. "What if He does?"

"I'm scared." She whispered the words against his chest. "Just because we love each other doesn't mean God wants us to end up together. We can make our plans, but the LORD determines our steps."

"I know. Proverbs 16:9. Worrying about it won't help. We need to keep praying and obey Him." His throat convulsed as he swallowed. His hand cupped her cheek and she leaned into the touch. "It's not easy for me either, Annie. Being away from you feels like the other half of my heart has been ripped from me."

"You seem so strong, like you could walk away from me with no problem if it was God's will." He stroked her back, making soothing circles. "You should walk away if that's what He wants, but it makes me feel better knowing it would be hard for you too."

"You know how much I love you. We're going to be ok, sweetheart." He pressed a kiss to her temple and stepped away, probably before he could make more promises he wasn't sure he could keep.

Annie watched him get into his truck and drive away.

"I wouldn't be surprised if he asked you to marry him." Rachel put her arm around her. "No pink, puffy-sleeved bridesmaid dresses."

Despite everything, Annie smiled. "I feel like Ty's sudden distance is about more than my parents."

Rachel was watching her with sympathy. She glanced around as if making sure they were alone and spoke, her voice quiet. "Annie did you and Ty..."

Her eyes widened, surprised. "No. We fell asleep."

Rachel let out a sigh of relief. "Of course, you didn't. I thought maybe that would explain Ty's behavior." Her eyebrows lifted. "Not that I doubt him, but being intimate is a huge step and it might create weird feelings, and I have no idea what I'm trying to say."

Annie laughed. "I get it."

"Thank goodness. I was afraid you'd be mad."

Annie dipped her head. "I know it's a sin, and I know we should wait until marriage. But sometimes I wish Ty and I were lovers." Guilt filled her and her gaze swung to Rachel. "Do you think God will forgive me?"

"Oh, Annie. Yes, He will. God is faithful if you ask for forgiveness. My best friend in the whole world has told me that a few times." Rachel gave her a hug. "If there's anything I can do, let me know."

"Ice cream?"

"With hot fudge, caramel, and chunks of brownie."

"Don't forget the whipped cream and cherry."

Suddenly, Rachel's head turned and she went still, staring off into the distance.

"Something wrong?" Annie asked. The answer surprised her.

"I don't know." Rachel frowned. "I have a weird feeling." She let out a breath and shook her head. "It's probably nothing. Let's get ice cream."

Half an hour later they sat in an ice cream shop enjoying double scoops with toppings. "Ty is the kind of guy who will move mountains to fix this."

"If it's God's will, then I believe he will." Annie didn't want to think about what would happen if God had a different plan. "How's Mary Jo?"

"She pretends to feel better than she does, and she worries about Caleb. If she knew he would be ok without her, I don't think she would try so hard to act like everything is normal. She'd definitely rest more."

Rachel folded the edges of her napkin, something she did when she was anxious.

"How's Caleb?"

"We had a date last night." A smile played on her lips. "He was supposed to pick me up and we were going to go to dinner, but Mary Jo wasn't feeling well. She insisted Caleb keep our date."

"Sounds like something she would do."

"That's why I went over to their house. I cooked chicken and rice. We played board games and watched a movie." Rachel's smile was bittersweet. "Mary Jo turned in early. Caleb and I cleaned up. We went outside on the porch."

Annie waited, knowing her friend needed her to listen right now.

"Caleb is hurting. He's like Ty, you know, pretending to be strong and invincible but I saw last night how hard Mary Jo's sickness is affecting him. I feel guilty for being selfish and not forgiving him sooner."

"You are the total opposite of selfish."

Rachel's expression was hopeful. "You're not saying that to make me feel better?"

"Have I ever been the kind of friend to do that?"

"No, but I realize how pitiful I must seem now."

"Were you saying those things about Ty and I working out just to make me feel better?"

"Of course not. You two are like characters from a romance novel." Buzz. Buzz. Rachel picked up her phone. "Hey, I have a missed call from Parker."

Annie glanced down. "Same. No message though."

"Wonder what he wanted."

"It's almost the one-year anniversary of the day we set sail. Maybe he misses us."

"I admit I miss him. He always listens when Ty talks to him about Jesus."

"Yeah, he's not a bad person." Rachel gasped. "We should plan a day at the beach. It's been a long time since we've all been together. We could invite Tanner and Josh, Missy and Dani."

"We'll all be together soon for the movie premiere."

They groaned at the same time then laughed. "I'll feel like I'm in a fishbowl."

"Big Brother will be watching."

"Josh is the only reason I'm going," Annie admitted.

"For sure. I hope Josh knows how lucky he is."