Red vs blue and purple

The joy of toggling

Camera pans down to Doc, Sabine and Grif talking outside Red Base.

Doc: So he was shot in the head...

Grif: Right.

Doc: ...and you gave him CPR for a bullet wound in the head.

Grif: Exactly.

Doc stares at him for awhile.

Doc: Yeah, I think that's a perfectly acceptable treatment.

Grif: That's what I said.

Sabine: Are you sure your a medic?

Doc: I am and Oh yeah, people often overlook alternative methods of care. Like that Blue guy that was shot in the foot during the battle? All I did was rub his neck with some aloe vera, he was fine.

Sabine: You didn't even treat the foot.

Grif: Yeah, I don't know about all that. I'm just glad that Sarge is wrong.

Sarge glares at them.

Sarge: Grif! Sabine! Yer supposed to be watching the prisoner, not playing lookie-loo with him all day long!

Grif: Come on Sarge, he doesn't even have a gun.

Sabine: Yeah. He's pretty harmless.

Simmons: Oh, well you two will be great friends then. He doesn't have a gun, and you didn't bring any ammo!

Sabine looks at Grif.

Sabine: He's got you there.

Grif: Hey thanks, kiss-ass. If I wanna take guarding tips from the guy that lost our last prisoner, I'll be sure to ask you.

Sabine looks at Simmons.

Sabine: He's got you there.

Donut: Oh man, that is a burn. Dude, you just got burned. Burned, dude, burned.

Simmons: Oh shut up, your armor's pink.

Simmons glares at Donut as Doc raises he hand.

Doc: Uh, hey, guys? I-I just want everybody to know that Grif and I aren't, uh, technically friends.. uh, we're just talking. That's it. (to Grif) Sorry, man, but it's pretty obvious that you're really unpopular, and if I'm gonna make any progress around here at all I can't really be directly associated with you. I'm sure you understand.

Grif stares at him and Doc gets uncomfortable.

Grif: ...

Doc: It's only because no one likes you.

Grif: ...

Doc: Stop staring at me.

Sabine: Maybe you should've kept your mouth shut.

Camera zooms through the gulch, revealing Sheila still in the middle of it, then ends on Church and Tucker behind Blue Base.

Tucker: Hey Church, if your body is the Red Team's old droid, and droids usually fix stuff, can't you just activate your repair sequence and fix Sheila?

Church: Huh... Well, yeah it's worth a shot, I guess. (clears throat) Alright. Stand back. (Tucker takes a step back) Huhrur...! Heeungh...! Hoom...!

Tucker: Anything?

Church: Yeah, it's not as easy as you'd think it would be.

Tucker: Maybe there's a button on you somewhere...

Church: See what you can find. I'll keep trying from in here... Huroor...! Oh! Hey!

Tucker: Found it?

Church: Nah, no wait. All I found was the time and temperature function. It is currently twenty-six degrees, by the way.

Tucker:What? It's not twenty-six degrees out here, that's freezing.

As Tucker talks, Caboose? passes through the entrance of the base. Church glares at Tucker.

Church: Celsius, Tucker.

Tucker: Oh come on, dude, Celsius sucks. (kneels down and looks at Church) Hey, I found something.

Church: Oh yeah? You found a button?

Tucker: Naw dude, it's more like a ..switch.

Tucker gets uncomfortable because of where it is and stands up.

Church: Well, give it a flip.

Tucker: I don't wanna flip it.

Church: What's the problem?

Tucker: It's in a weird place.

Church: Oh you've gotta be kidding me.

Tucker: You flip it.

Church: These arms aren't that flexible, I can't even reach down there.

Tucker: What about Caboose?

Church: Oh man, he's so stupid, I don't even know if he knows how to operate a switch.

Tucker: Oh man...

Church: C'm-Tucker, come on. We'll laugh about it later. I'll buy you dinner.

Tucker: (kneels down and tries to flip the switch) It won't move, it's stuck.

Church: Did you try wiggling it?

Tucker gets up and looks at Church.

Tucker: No way, I'm not wiggling your dongle.

Church: Oh, stop being a baby. Just wiggle it.

Tucker kneels back down when Church grins.

Church: ... So, you from around here, baby?

Tucker gets back up and glares at him.

Tucker: Okay look, if you want me to do this, you can't talk like that.

Church: Alright alright alright alright, I'm sorry, I'm just kidding, I'm just kidding.

Tucker: I wish Tex was here, she wouldn't have any problem flipping it.

Church: You obviously did not know Tex that well.

Tucker kneels back down and flips the switch and a beeping noise starts.

Tucker: There! Anything?

Church: Nope. Nothin'. (Heard beeping) That's kinda weird. Do you hear something beeping?

Cut to the Reds wondering of what to do about Doc.

Sarge: Are there any ideas on what to do with the prisoner?

The same beeping starts fading in, approaching the same volume.

Simmons: Well, we have to get him away from Grif, because ...yeah, you know, it's kinda cruel and unusual to have to talk to him.

Donut: How 'bout we, um, let him trade armor with uh, one of us? That would show him.

Sabine just looks at him.

Sabine: It'll make you more mainly if you just admit to wearing pink.

The Warthog's headlights flash in time with the beeping

Warthog: (voice is warbled and slurred) Warthog online. (the headlights flash once and remain on, and the voice is now up to speed) Homing beacon activated.

The reds turn around to the Warthog suddenly talking.

Donut: Sarge, d-d-did the car just talk?

Sarge: Uh oh.