signed anonymous

Why

When I sat for dinner I noticed Barty looked a bit pensive. And had a scroll next to him. Along with a quill and ink. Which was common these days. Tomorrow was Voldemort's visit which had us both on edge all day.

"Something wrong Barty?" I asked curious as to why he looked so pensive. But if he felt we would be in trouble then I would do what I can to fix it. He looked at me studying me for a moment.

"Why did you drop your wand on my lap at Hogwarts? That couldn't have been a mistake. You've never dropped it before so why then?" He questioned showing his honest confusion. And willing me to answer with his eyes.

I was silent for a long while not wanting to answer but knowing this was eating at him was enough to push me towards answering. "What I told the minister was the truth. When Dumbledore grabbed my arm it sent pain through the cut loosening my grip. Then he yanked the sleeve back pulling the clots open and I just let go." I swallowed thickly. "What I didn't tell him was that I wanted to let go." I grabbed my goblet and drank slowly looking at the ceiling.

"Why did you want to let go though?" He asked. I could feel his eyes boring a hole in my head. I knew this was something he wouldn't drop.

"You were the best teacher I've ever had. Bar Flitwick but he's got years of experience on everyone." I gave him a tentative smile. But was met with a raised brow. He gestured for me to continue. Knowing my hair was what gave me away I sighed but went on. "I don't know why, but I didn't want you to die. Something in me ached at the idea." I ate nearly 2/3 of a full serving before looking up again.

He was starring at me while eating. As soon as he finished he quizzed me for about 30 minutes before saying that we would treat tomorrow as any other day and to pretend that Voldemort wasn't there but was still in Britain. But I couldn't sleep so I took a long bath while reading a arithmeticy book meant to explain how to use it. When I got out I sealed the room and put on a nice flowing nightgown. Then layed on the foot of the bed.

Crashers had been very proud of me for managing to sleep here last night. But I was sure I'd end up on the chest again oh well best to at least try.