Maybe Someday

{NANON}

        It's hard to be in love with your best friend.

          You caught yourself in one of those awkward cliche movies, except for the suddenly famous soundtrack or the happy ending. In real life, all you get is the frustrating part, where you keep wondering "why doesn't he confess?" or "how can she not see how much he's in love with her? it's so obvious!". There's no turning point, no conflicts and, of course, there's not a confession or realization with a romantic kiss in the end. There's just him and me, laying down on his bedroom floor, playing video games for the nth time.

           He probably has no idea how much my mind wanders about him. How many times I pictured myself kissing him or how many times I imagined us, as a couple, walking around on dates. In all those years of friendship, I bet he has no clue of how many times I wished to taste his lips or even how many wet dreams I had with him.

           And he will never know.

– Do you want something to drink? I got your favourite juice on the market. It was on sale. – He asks me, pausing the game and getting up to the kitchen. – Better than that, I will bring you water, you don't drink enough water. And you should.

– Why did you ask me if you were going to answer yourself?

– I know you. – He's right, he does. So much that sometimes it hurts. Sometimes I wonder if Ohm just pretends not to know about my feelings for him. – Here. Your delicious water.

– Water shouldn't be delicious. Should be insipid, inodorous and colorless. – I say and he rolls his eyes to me.

– Shut up and drink it before I kick you. – He goes to the kitchen again, gets his own bottle of water and comes back to his room in a minute. – What are you gonna do tomorrow morning? Wanna go to the gym with me?

– I can't. I have a college thing and will have lunch with my friends after.

– Your college friends? – I nod while playing. – You have a lot of college friends.

– I guess it's normal. I mean, it's not like my friendship with you or Chimon, but yeah.

– Yeah. – He answers in a weird tone and I look at him, confused.

– What? What's wrong?

– Nothing. Just go to lunch with your friends. No problems. – I laugh, looking at Ohm. Couldn't deny my heart gets a little warm every time he's jealous of me somehow. It's selfish, I know, but I like to delude myself into thinking he has any discomfort about me with other people.

– C'mon, you know you're my best friend. You don't have to be jealous. How could I have this with any other person except for you? Who else would scream with me for not drinking all the water I need? Or who else would stop my legs from shaking in front of everybody? Who else would be so annoying and make me come here in the middle of the afternoon just to pass this level for him? No one would. Just you! – We both laugh and I look at him again.

              I love his smile. I love the way he smiles at me. Makes me feel warm, cherished, makes me feel like I could do anything.

              I already spent a lot of time thinking about us as a couple. We would be that bickering couple, always complaining about something with each other, but solving everything at the end of the day. I would complain about the way he loves the car, he would complain about how much money I spend on figures. I would kiss his cheek everyday and he would keep his hand around my waist everytime we were together, as a sign that he is there for me. We would complain about each other's habits all the time. We also would make out almost every evening in a lot of different ways, because that's the couple I would like to be, but we also would be just cuddling and kissing slowly because that's the way he would like to be.

             I don't know much about Ohm as a boyfriend. I don't remember seeing him with someone for so long that could be considered a relationship. I remember that he once said about being in love with someone, but when I questioned again after a while, he said it was nothing. " Just a fling ", he shrugged. Honestly, maybe not seeing him with someone keeps this tiny stupid hope alive inside that... maybe someday.