The time hasn't changed you (Bucky X Reader)

Chapter 33

-Miss Rogers. Miss Rogers. Wake up, please.- the metallic voice said as y/n sat up, rubbing her eyes. 
-What is it, J? And what time is it?- she asked in a raspy voice, cursing mentally against the AI. 
-It's currently 5 am and, I suppose, Mr Barnes is having a nightmare. He is moving in his sleep and babbling but I don't understand what he is saying.- he explained. 
-Alright. I'm going to check on him. Thanks for letting me know.- she said standing up and heading to his room -Did you told anyone else?- 
-No, Miss Rogers. Do you want me to?- Jarvis asked, in a low tone as she walked in the corridor. 
-No, thanks. Just in case things got bad.- she answered, lowering the handle of the door -Buck? Bucky?- she called him, walking in.
The whole room was dark, the only light was the little lamp on the desk, for the rest it was also poorly furnitured. 
Just a bed, a desk, a chair and a closet.
It almost looked like a cell. 
Bucky was coiled in the blankets and he was muttering in a low and broken voice. 
His face was twisted into a grimace of pain and suffering. 
-No...please...I don't want...leave me alone...please...- he said, rolling over and over in bed. 
y/n's heart ached at that scene. 
It looked like a serious nightmare, all his muscles were tense and she couldn't even imagine what he could be dreaming about. 
Or rather, she didn't want to imagine it. 
-Bucky...it's me...wake up.- she whispered, as she sat on his bed and carefully touched him on his shoulder. 
The supersoldier, probably feeling attacked, immediately punched the woman in her stomach and brought his metal hand around her neck. 
y/n, caught off guard, couldn't do anything apart from taking the shot and gasping for air. 
The very next moment Bucky opened his eyes, waking up, and when he realised what he was doing he immediately let her go, with a scared face. 
"What the fuck I just did?" he thought, looking at his metal hand, feeling disgusting and mad at himself. 
At that moment everything he wanted to do was just disappear or die. 
y/n fell on her knees, bringing her hand on her sore neck, gasping for air and trying to regulate her breath. 
When she felt a little better, she stood up and looked at Bucky, who stood up a few meters away from her. 
His eyes were full of tears and fear.
Fear of hurting and losing her. 
-Should I call someone, Miss?- the AI asked her -The scan doesn't show any problem, though.-
-No, J. It's okay...thanks for the scan.- y/n coughed a little. 
-I'm sorry...I'm...I'm a...monster...I don't...I don't deserve to...to stay here...- he muttered. 
His tone was pure panic. 
-Buck, calm down. I'm okay. Don't worry.- she said, taking a step forward, but he took two steps behind, almost hitting the wall. 
His heart was about to burst out of his chest. 
-No, you're not okay. I hurt you...and I'm...I'm dangerous...I shouldn't be here...- he said, panicking even more. 
-Bucky, please. Listen to me. Take a deep breath. In. Hold. Out.- y/n said, trying to keep a calm voice -Good, very good. In. Hold. Out. One last time. In. Hold. Out. Alright.- she said as Bucky sat on his bed and she knelt in front of him, wiping his tears with her thumb -Look at me. I'm fine, Buck. I know you didn't mean to harm me.- she said, cupping his face, forcing him to look at her. 
-I'm sorry...- he whispered, sobbing, hiding his face into her hair as she stroked his back, comforting him whispering sweet words. 
-It's okay. It's okay.- she said, hugging him.
Bucky felt safe and so felt y/n. 
After a while Bucky broke away from the hug. 
y/n stood up and sat next to him, with her head on his shoulder. 
-Aren't you...scared of...me?- he asked in a whisper, looking at his metallic hand. 
-Of course not, Buck.- she said, raising her head and looking at him in the eyes -I'm not and I'll never be.- she added, taking his hand in her, rubbing it softly, as Bucky frozen in place -You're still that little kid that helped me when I hurt my knee, that consoled me when my mum died, that encouraged me to not get marry when my father wanted me to, that saved me a lot of times, that used to threaten any guy I went out with, that when was at the front wrote me letter about how a trumpet waked him up, that I saved when some crazy red face that had kidnapped him. You're still James Bucky Barnes.- y/n smiled, taking off her necklace with the tags and putting it into his hand, closing it -You're still my Bucky. No matter what.- 
He was shocked by what she had said. 
He was speechless and his cheeks were red. 
-I...I don't know if I deserve this...- he whispered, looking at the floor. 
-Stop saying that, please. Doing this you hurt yourself but also me and Steve. We care for you. I can't see you like this, Buck. I...- y/n said sighing heavily. 
Bucky, summoning all his courage, turned his head looking at her.
He noticed her eyes were teary and, without thinking twice, he wiped her cheek with his thumb then caressed it softly, while his other hand was still in hers. 
He hated to see her cry and hated who made her cry. 
But now he had made her cry and he was hating himself for that. 
Both of them now were looking at each other.
y/n and Bucky's eyes flickered from their eyes and lips. 
Slowly, almost without noticing it, they got closer and closer moment by moment, closing their eyes. 
y/n's heart started racing in her chest and her ears were filled with her rapid heartbeats. 
Bucky felt the same way. 
Her arms reached his neck, keeping him close, as his hand positioned on her waist, pulling her in. 
Then their lips touched. 
Nothing too passionate, but a kiss full of love, lost years and unspoken words. 
When they broke apart, they looked at each other for a few seconds, with red cheeks.
-Do you...do you want to...stay here tonight...with me?- Bucky asked, scratching his neck. 
-It's almost morning actually, Buck.- y/n pointed out, with a chuckle -But yeah, I don't see why not.- 
Bucky's smile grew as they laid in bed and y/n put her head on his chest, cuddling next to him. 
-Did I hurt you that much?- he asked, sweetly, stroking her hair. 
-No, don't worry. Do I have to remind you that I'm a supersoldier?- she said. 
-I know. Luckily I didn't punch you with the metal arm...- he said, in a tone full of shame. 
-I'm fine. You're fine. That's all it matters. Now try to sleep a little, please.- y/n said, in a low tone, caressing his cheek. 
-I don't want to...I have nightmares...about that base.- Bucky admitted, his tone was broken almost like he was about to cry. 
-Hey, hey. I'm here and I won't go anywhere. Nobody can hurt you while we're here.- she tried to reassure him. 
-Alright then.- he nodded smiling, playing a little with her hair.
-Can we...talk about this?- y/n asked, almost in a whisper.
-Not now. Let's talk tomorrow, alright?- Bucky asked as she looked up to him.
-Mhmh.- she nodded slightly -Just promise me you won't disappear or avoid me...please.- now she was begging.
-I won't, sugar, I promise you.- he said, placing a sweet kiss on her forehead -Goodnight y/n/n.- he said, putting an arm around her shoulders. 
-Goodnight Buck.- she said.
A few minutes later Bucky's breath was regular and calm, a sign that he had fallen asleep. 
y/n touched her lips, still shocked from the kiss. 
"What will happen now?" she asked herself, but didn't have an answer, she could only imagine.
Then culled by Bucky's heartbeats, she falled asleep too, lost in her thoughts.