ELEVEN - LIGHT AND SHADE

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"We should get back, Charlie will be wondering where we are."

Blair pulled her hand away from beneath Thomas', quickly rising to her feet after digesting his words that only made her stomach turn.

"Blair, wait."

Thomas jumped up and walked after her, reaching out and grabbing her arm gently but with enough force to stop her, pulling her round to face him and seeing the streaks of sad tears that had fallen down her cheeks.

Blair gazed up at him through glassy eyes, embarrassed that he was seeing her in that state. The moment had got too much for her, from being alone with him to touching hands, pretending like there hasn't been a heartbreak that had driven them apart years ago. Each little thing had added on top of the other, all being manageable until Blair asked the question, the answer sending her over the edge.

Thomas let go, holding his breath as he looked down at her, a foul pain in his chest at the sight of her crying. He'd left the restaurant the night of telling her about the other woman he'd met before she had chance to say anything. It was a foolish escape, a cowardly act as a whole, but his exit took the glory. He couldn't face watching her break down, he didn't want to see her cry over him, he didn't want to break her heart, and so by leaving before she cried, in his mind, she was just fine.

Only now, Thomas was witnessing exactly what he thought he had escaped in the past.

"I'm sorry," Blair sniffled, wiping her eyes with her fingertips, "I don't know what you wanted to happen today, or why you're being so kind to me, I don't understand. Whatever it is, please, just leave me alone, I can't deal with this."

"Blair!"

Thomas said her name firmly, taking hold of her hand again and pulling her back to face him, only closer that time, wrapping his arm around her body and holding her against him, letting go of her hand and raising it gently to touch her cheek, brushing away the tears.

"The minute I walked away from you, I knew it was a mistake. Nobody could ever come close to you, but I couldn't come back, I just couldn't. I didn't think I'd ever see you again and now I have I-"

"You wish you'd never have given up on us in the first place, right?" Blair said in a soft voice, swallowing hard.

"Right."

"But you did," She continued, pushing his hand away from her face, "You left me alone, terrified and broken, scared of the world and of the thought of trusting somebody. Do you know how hard it was to let myself fall in love with Jamie? And now he's gone, too. Everything I love, leaves, Tommy. You don't get to come back into my life and pretend like nothing happened because you realised you made a mistake."

Blair pulled herself out of Tommy's grasp, leaving him stood alone. His lips were parted, though his words were empty. He had come to terms with the fact that he would never see Blair again after leaving her, but that didn't change the fact that he fell asleep every night thinking about her, wondering where she was, if she was laying beside another man the same as he was with another woman.

It was torture to think about her life without him, but Thomas' pride made it impossible for him to admit his mistakes, and once he slid the ring onto Grace's finger and saw his son for the first time, he knew for definite that there was no going back, regardless of his pride.

The first sight of Blair with a wedding ring on her finger made Thomas want to throw up. He had toyed with the thought of her being married many times, though seeing it for himself was sickening. He didn't like the thought of another man looking into her eyes and telling her how much he adored her, how much he wanted to give her everything he could. To Thomas, it felt like any man who came close to her would be doing her an injustice compared to the way he could love her.

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