Your heart is beating out of your chest, each thump pushing you further you into a downward spiral as your clammy palms tap against your bouncing knee. Leaning against the chair, you refuse to make eye contact with anyone — the worried look on your face is enough to push them away, anyway. In a situation like this, it would be strange to not feel anxious. After all, it had been over ten years since you let the love of your life go and agreeing to see her on live television is a decision that you have been regretting since the day you said yes.
Two minutes, you blow a breath out as you stare up at the monitor in front of you.
"Welcome to the Tonight Show!" Jimmy kicks off with a smile, the audience in front of him clapping as they yell in excitement. "Thank you for being here, tonight we have two very special guests —"
A staff member taps your shoulder, pulling you out of your messy thoughts. "Y/N, it's time."
Uncrossing your legs, you nod your head with a shy smile. The fact that you can hear your own heartbeat amongst all the noise makes you extremely uncomfortable.
You haven't been this nervous since the world found out about your relationship with her.
Taking a deep breath, you walk out with your heart in your throat. You bow your head at Jimmy and wave your hand at the audience members, screaming can be heard from the other end; your name being chanted, their excitement shining through from seeing you on television again after a two-year hiatus— it feels good to relive what was once your life like, but you don't regret disappearing from the spotlight. You're happier now, you think.
As if you were in a movie, time suddenly stops as she emerges from the other side in the black Yves Saint Laurent dress you bought her all those years ago — golden hair flowing freely past her shoulders as she does the same gestures. Watching her fondly, you're reminded of the moonlight that illuminates the surface of the endless ocean; truly God's masterpiece in its purest form.
You're frozen in your spot as you stare at her with the utmost adoration and respect. Then, she meets your eyes. "Hello stranger," she greets with a sly smile, taking the seat next to yours as the crowd goes wild at your first interaction. "Hi Jimmy, thank you for having me."
"Yeah, I'm gonna pretend that you didn't acknowledge Y/N first," he teases, making her and everyone else chuckle. "Anyway, wow, you look wonderful. And so do you, Y/N!"
You grin, nodding as you try to remember the script in your head. "Thank you for having me back here, Jimmy, I appreciate it."
"It's the both of you this time," he raises his eyebrow suggestively. "Which is amazing, the world hasn't seen you together in twelve years. Am I right?"
"Yes," she looks at you, heaving out a breath as she laughs. "Sorry, it just feels so weird to see you again."
Suddenly, you're pulled back into past; during the last time you ever saw her in the alleyway behind Stanley's; your favourite getaway restaurant during midnights. Every now and then, you remember it; the pain from losing her comes back like it just happened and you wonder if you've really moved on.
"We can't keep doing this," she said with tears welling in her eyes. "It's so hard, Y/N, and as much as I love you, our relationship is mentally breaking me."
You shook your head in desperation, cupping her cheeks with both of your hands. "That's what they want, you know that, our fans want us to break up. You don't have to do this, Rosie, I'm sure there's another way. We can talk to our management —"
She sighed, pulling away from you. Both physically and emotionally. "I've spoken to mine and they respect my decision."
It felt like she just stabbed you in the back as you gawked at her with defeat in your eyes, shoulders slumping while piecing everything together. "The last time you spoke to them about our relationship was over a month ago, and you're only talking to me about this now? Is that how you've been feeling this whole time?"
