Chapter 34

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EPILOGUE

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EPILOGUE

SEVEN MONTHS LATER

"You sure about this?" Rion asks me.

"Absolutely not."

We're standing at the gate in a bustling airport. I clutch the handle of my wheeled carryon bag, staring at the boarding tunnel stretching in front of me. It winds to the left, and I can't see the end of it. But I know at the end of this jet bridge sits a plane, not unlike the one we took seven months ago.

We haven't gotten on another flight since that day. And I swore I'd never get on another plane in my life. But it turns out, not flying anywhere is very inconvenient, and this time we got better seats on a nicer airline. I insisted on that.

Rion runs his fingers through his buzzed hair. It's growing in nicely and it looks really cute on him. Rion started a trial medication a few months ago, and was the rare candidate that went into full remission after his first round of therapy. It was a great success.

"You're one lucky guy," the doctor had told him.

Lucky.

But I guess he is lucky.

We're both lucky. And also unlucky, in that we needed to be lucky. But I guess, in a strange way, that's lucky too.

We both deferred college enrollment for a year. Rion spent the time with his family and me, as well as dealing with doctor appointments and his treatment schedule. Meanwhile, I went to community college to knock out some pesky college requirements, and began doing some work on myself. I got myself a therapist – not Dr. Sheryl, I decided that would've been too weird and probably triggering, too – and I've been working out some unresolved issues, many having to do with the loop. Although I frame it as a reoccurring dream I have, which isn't too far off the mark. And I've sifted through the remaining guilt, anger, and hurt around my father. I've put that shawl in the back of my closet, like Dr. Sheryl once said, and left it for another season.

A week after we landed, my mother and I held a funeral – or rather, a celebration of life – for my father. It was nice connecting with family members and friends, and it gave me the opportunity to introduce Rion to everyone. Afterwards, my mother and I drove up the coast to a sleepy little town surrounded by Redwoods, and found a quiet beach. We took off our shoes, rolled up our pants, and waded into the surf, where we spread my father's ashes in the sea.

Then we continued up the coast, talking and laughing about the past, and making new memories of our own.

"Are you sure we should be on the same flight?" Rion then asks as we inch closer to the front of the line. "Maybe it would be safer if we took separate flights?"

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