Riverdale Fanfic by Someone Who's Never Seen Riverdale

what is this?

I'm going to write some fanfiction of the TV show Riverdale having never watched an episode of it. With this said, I want to give a disclaimer that I don't hate this show and have absolutely nothing against it (the point being that I have not seen it) and I respect anyone who loves it. This is just lighthearted fun.

I have seen various disjointed clips of it on social media, and my flatmate used to watch it in his language (which I don't understand), so I know about "the epic highs and lows of college football" and the fact that the ginger one has magic bees, and I've seen the clip where a Sprouse twin named Jug goes on about his hat. Just in case you wanted to have some sort of idea where I am knowledge-wise.

Also if I don't know a character's name, I'm just going to make it up. I'm sorry. I know the basics I think. 

Let's have fun with this! And if you have any other fandom you'd like me to do this for, let me know in the comments. I'm pretty out of touch with a lot of popular content so we can do this for really any new fandom.