Sugarcubes // Finnick Odair - Hunger Games Fanfic

XI.

As Caesar's voice floats around the room introducing the 67th hunger games to the country of Panem, my feet can't stop moving. I pace the length of the room in front of the couch on which Eero, Austin and Blight are cramped. Rosaline stands just behind them.

Caesars words of introduction are drowned out by my pounding heartbeat. I know I must have gotten a low score. It's the only way for them to get back at me for the misbehavior I exhibited during my private session that will not eliminate the leverages they have against me: My family.

Caesar starts to announce the scores, to which my ringing ears don't allow me to listen. I catch a few glimpses of conversation from the other people in the room, but nothing truly registers in my brain except fear. Fear that my only chance to survive will be eliminated by the scoring. I can only hope they don't touch my family.

"Kendria, would you do us all a favor and please stop that?" Austin says tiredly, signaling that he too did not get any sleep-in anticipation for today's release of the scores.

I open my mouth to snap at him, but then remember what he did for me yesterday – pulling me out of my attack and decide to ease up on the sass. I sit on the edge of the sofa and stare at Caesars face on the screen, though really, I'm not present in the moment. I'm thinking about this day, but 3 years ago.

I gather an eight-year-old Lia in my arms, thinking about how big she's getting to hold and call out to Danny, who's ten to join us in the square. I stop slightly a way off from our shack of a hut at one of the outskirt lodges of Seven. The mason lodge, which has been downcast and empty ever since she left. Jenna.

I step inside. It's always open, and I'm always welcome – or at least that's what they say. I'm just here to drop off some bread I picked up at the market today morning and to take Johanna to the square because I know how much she hates going with her parents. Mrs. Mason probably needs a reminder that there is a mandatory viewing the square as well, having sunk into nothingness after her daughter left for the games.

"Mrs. Mason! Anna!" I call into the house, to no avail. Mr. Mason comes out from behind the room door and shakes his head softly. Johanna follows her father out solemnly, although her face lights up considerably at the sight of Lia. I let Lia out of my arms to run to Anna as I walk over to Mr. Mason.

"She's not doing well, is she, Mr. Mason?" I ask, reading his face.

He chuckles hoarsely. "You know, you've always been way too smart for your own good Ria."

I wonder if, when he looks at me, he feels hate knowing that I could have saved his daughter but didn't. If he does, he hides it well.

"Shall I go talk to her? I wanted to remind you about the viewing. I thought you'd rather have me remind you than the squad of peacekeepers.

"You're definitely a sight prettier." He nods in affirmation of my statement, ignoring my question, which leads me to believe he doesn't want me to see Mrs. Mason in her state. I instead call out to Anna and Lia and walk them to the square with me. We meet Danny halfway, and Terry is with his father further up on the podium, so all are accounted for.

The screen switches on with the capitol symbol and Caesars face flashes on it – hair dyed bright orange – a colour which makes me want to puke. He announces the scores of each tribute, starting from District one, but my eyes and ears only listen for one.

Her name is announced in a low monotone.

"Jenna Masons, District 7."

He looks down at the paper below him and scrunches his face sadly.

"3."

And that's when we all knew that she wasn't coming out alive.

"Oh! Austin! That's wonderful! What did you do?!" Rosaline's voice jerks me out of my memorial trance and back into the harsh reality. A quick glance at the screen sends me into a spiral of shock myself.

An eleven?

What did he do.

I'm confronted by a quick and short but equally effective burst of anger and jealousy towards the boy. Who knew he had some secret talent? Who knew he has more chance in winning this than any of us?

"Yeah, Austin, what did you do?" I ask coldly, getting up from my spot and joining the celebrations in the center, my icy demeanor cutting through the warmth in the atmosphere like a sharp knife. Nobody seems to want to tend to wound, leaving Austin to stare at me, shocked by my change in mood in all of three seconds.

Caesar hums in the background about how amazing he is as I stare the boy down in real life.

"What secret are you keeping, punk?" I say roughly, grabbing moving to grab his collar unsuccessfully. Blight steps in front of me and pushes me backward. We all stare at each other, and the tension in the room slowly rises. I feel a feeling of betrayal rise up in me, Blight, who was supposed to be on my side was choosing Austin over me.

The tension in the room is so high that almost all of us miss it. Caesar, unheard to all the inhabitants of the room moves from expressing his surprise over Austin's score to mine. I don't hear what he says, already too blinded by my quick and flashy anger. I huff loudly at Blight and hit him roughly on the chest, but he holds strong, so I plop myself back down on the couch and drop down. After a moment, I lift my head.

Caesar is muttering praises about district seven and my face is on screen – with a ten orbiting around it. A stinge of jealousy stings me, Austin having scored higher than me, but all other emotions evaporate away.

I stand abruptly again, and Blight tenses up as I rush to him, thinking I might pounce again. Instead, I fling my arms around his neck and burry my face in it to hide the tears streaming down my face. If you ask me to explain my actions or how I'm feeling, I would be unable to. I just feel an overwhelming amount of gratitude towards a victor - who has seen 32 children die under his mentorship in the games but still is able to mentor me. He raised a son, granted not well, but raised a son despite the horrors of his past and him being thoroughly alone.

When I'm confident that the tears have faded into blights neck and off my skin, I let go of him slowly. I meet Austin's eyes and Caesar announces his surprise at this year's scores. I look at him, desperately trying to grasp how he impressed them so much and shoot him a well-deserved smile. Just because I smiled at him though, doesn't mean we aren't enemies. It doesn't in any case mean that he will stand in the way of getting back to my family. The only problem is that despite my best efforts not to get attached, each day spent with these people makes it harder and harder to convince myself to kill them all. As I know that I will have to.

The smile fades off my face slowly but surely.

"And may the odds, be ever in your favor." Caesar says, Rosaline mouthing the phrase under her breath silently.

I turn away from him, breaking eye-contact and walk into my room. Sitting on the bed with the locket in my hand staring at the stupid wall that shows me my forest as though staring will somehow make me appear back there where I belong. It won't, and the entire wall is a way for the Capitol to remind us that they control that too.

Published: 30th October, 2022