Smoke and Mirrors (DE)

69. I still do

"Grace— don't open that fuckin door, you wait till I get there!" Richard exclaimed into the phone.

"Daddy it's fine!" Grace shouted back irritatedly with her phone pressed between her shoulder and ear as she got Cataleya's romper buttoned, disconnecting the call and tossing the phone onto the bed. "You ready to see your daddy pretty girl?" Grace asked in a softer tone, mirroring the three month olds gummy smile as Grace tickled her chubby belly just as there was a knock at the door.

Grace exhaled deeply, swallowing the lump that had formed in her throat and mustered up a smile as she placed Cataleya on her hip, straightening her stripped romper and slinging her Gucci diaper bag over the opposite shoulder. Grace peppered her little face with kisses as she walked to the front door, Cataleya's tiny boisterous giggles flooding Graces condo.

"There's daddy!" Grace exclaimed as she opened the door, Joseph waiting on the other side with a smile.

Graces heart thumped aggressively in her chest, anxiety blocking her airways and making it hard to breathe. She made minimal eye contact as she passed her daughter off, handing him the thousand dollar diaper bag with her. This was the first time they'd seen one another in person in months— Joseph had been going through Richard to see his daughter and he didn't miss a day, but today Richard had errands to run and wouldn't make it on time to see his granddaughter off.

There was an uncomfortable silence as the two co-parents stood on opposite sides of the threshold. The only time they communicated was about their daughter, so if it didn't involve her there was no conversation.

"All right my beautiful girl, have fun— I love you stinka muffin," Grace cooed softly, pinching her daughters cheeks before looking up at Joseph briefly meeting his tense gaze and giving him a meek smile. "Call me if she needs anything," She said, trying to softly close the door but Joseph quickly stuck his foot in it, stopping her.

Grace inhaled sharply looking down at his foot and up at him with an unamused expression, twisting her lips to the side. He'd thought about this moment all night last night— finally getting to see Grace and what he was going to say but his nerves were rattling him and he couldn't get anything out.

"Wait— come with us, it's my birthday. I want to be with both of you—"

Grace chewed on the inside of her lip as her eyes defaulted to everywhere but at him. "I have stuff to do— happy birthday, Joseph," She said quietly, closing the door.

Grace tucked both her lips as she placed her back up against the door, her hazel eyes burning as she felt a wave of emotion wash over her. These days felt as though she wasn't allowed to cry anymore or be weak because Cataleya was watching, even though she didn't know what was going on. Grace still didn't understand how things had become this way, and it made it all the more worse because she was still madly in love with Joseph— just as she'd promised him she always would be.

Grace didn't hate Joseph for what he'd done, she despised him because she felt he chose the streets over his family. Part of Grace hated her own self for truly believing he'd ever change— buying all the dreams he'd sell her of a home with a white picket fence, children playing in the yard and a normal life. But it was just another fib in his book of lies.

Sometimes she wish she could go back to when he told her he wasn't a good man in the beginning— she wished she believed him and didn't try to fix him. Joseph was a broken man long before she came into his life and it took her seven years too long to realize her love was not enough to fix him. He had a tether attached to him— an evil monkey on his back and he'd finally imploded on himself, hurting the woman that had gifted him with precious life.

Grace hated sending her daughter away, not because she didn't want Cataleya to be with Joseph but because she wanted to be with them, together— she missed her family.