[COMPLETE]
When Hanna Haddad embarks on what's supposed to be another uneventful summer as a lifeguard on Cape Cod, a trip to the past comes as an unnerving surprise. The discovery of her estranged mother's journal opens up the world of tragedy and...
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I always wondered if coming to your place of employment outside of work was a mystifying experience for everyone. Did a doctor feel odd when visiting the hospital for an injury of their own? Or a teacher going back to school for a different degree?
The sea that used to call my name every morning last summer looked different—angrier, grayer. Maybe it was the evening clouds, rolling in after every sunny day so far this June, reminding me that as happy as I was during the day, the night always brought its twin, sadness.
"Do you miss it?" Jesse asked, propping himself up on an elbow on his towel. We lay sprawled out in a corner of the nearly empty beach, half-eaten cartons of takeout in between us. "Sometimes, when I'm driving to work, I forget where I'm actually going and take the exit that leads here."
I laughed lifelessly. "Let's just say I'd take waking up at six a.m. to spend the day by the water over getting up for my internship any day."
My role was at a data analytics firm founded by one of my mother's former students. I was grateful for her willingness to scramble for something for me at the last minute, but I failed to mention that every day I counted down the minutes until I could go back home and lie in bed, lost in a sea of darkening thoughts.
"I'm sure it'll get better," he soothed, turning over onto his back. "To be fair, I've been working as a consultant for over nine months and still barely know what I'm doing."
We remained in our spots, watching the last of the sun roll behind the clouds. Jesse pulled me closer to his chest, but I stayed frozen, having no energy to hug him back. I wasn't sure why I'd agreed to take a swim with him afterwards, probably having missed the feeling of floating on my back and letting the waves do the rest of the work.
"Shit, this is colder than I remember," Jesse hissed as the icy water slapped our bodies.
He wrapped his arms around himself and shivered, while I cursed in my head and kept trudging forward, knowing after a certain point, my limbs would feel as numb as I did on the inside.
I let myself sink downwards, until the water hit the top of my chest, grateful I'd worn a one-piece instead of a bikini. I smiled at Jesse, who despite his brawny arms and years of swimming experience, still winced with every step deeper into the water.
"You can't be cold if you can't feel anything," I joked, enveloping everything besides my head in the frigid water again. "Need me to dunk you in there, or are you gonna stop being a baby already?"
At my teasing, he disappeared under the water for a solid three seconds, before emerging an icicle. He spit out some water and brushed away the thick black locks, revealing those blue eyes again, distinct in the gray evening. I almost forgot they were the first thing I liked about him.
I turned onto my back and relaxed my hands out by my sides, letting the rolling waves work their magic. I popped one eye open to locate Jesse, floating in the same manner far ahead of me. The tranquil moment pulled me in, and I soon found myself falling into a trance with the ebb and flow of the waves and the light beat of my heart.
