Chapter Seven

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"Oh, sure, pull the identical twin card on me now. Really clever," I snap sarcastically. "It was you! You were in the sweater that you wore that night, the one that I got you for your birthday. You can't fucking lie to me, Theo!" I ball my hands into fists.

There's a picture on my phone that I took of the two of them that night, before it all happened. Theo's wearing the blue sweater I bought him, while Felix is in a black t-shirt.

He shakes his head again. "Please, please, just let me explain. One of the boys spilled his beer all over Felix and I was boiling anyway, so I gave him the sweater so that he had something to wear. I then went to look for you, but that must have been when you were looking for me, because then Marnie told me that she'd seen you storming out of the house and away. I called, I texted, but you wouldn't answer."

The world starts to shake, starts to crumble. Surely... surely, that's not true. Right?

I remember that he texted me not long after I'd stormed out of the party, asking where I was. Saying that he was worried because I'd taken ages in the bathroom.

"I swear that's the truth, Sabrina. Fuck – where's my phone – I'll call Felix right now. He'll tell you. That was the first night they got together. I promise."

He desperately twists around and lunges for the sofa, where his phone is lying. He's one click away from calling his twin brother to corroborate his story, when I stop him.

"Wait."

Theo freezes, glancing up at me worriedly, tears in his eyes.

"Are you telling the truth?" I whisper, softly, feeling my heart crack in my chest. I shouldn't have to hear it from Felix. I should just know whether he's telling me the truth or not. 

"Yes," he swears, eyes serious and earnest. "Yes, I am."

Oh, my fuck. Fucking hell. No.

"Shit," I mutter, my hands covering my face, crouching down on the ground. "No. Surely... Surely not. I didn't... I swear it was you. Fuck, I was drunk, but I-"

I'm so ashamed that I can't even look at him. The guilt that has been eating at me this entire holiday for completely different reasons is threatening to swallow me whole again.

I broke up with my boyfriend, broke both of our hearts, because of a misunderstanding? Because Theo gave Felix his sweater and then Felix got with a girl?

It was dark outside when I saw them, I'd had a few drinks so perhaps didn't see super clearly and I didn't exactly stick around to watch. Did I really mistake one for the other?

"Theo," I whimper into my hands, somehow not crying, but only because I've already cried myself out earlier today at home and then in the park. "Theo."

I feel him crouch next to me and lift me up, into his arms. He carries me to the sofa and sits down, holding me in his embrace.

When we were together, he always wanted me to sit on his lap. It was his favourite thing. The fact that he's put me there again without hesitating makes my heart stutter.

"It's okay," he whispers quietly, voice choked with tears. "I've got you."

His tears make me feel a million time worse. When I tell him as much, he just squeezes me tight, cradling me close. I don't deserve him.

I can't believe it. I was so determined that the whole world was against me that I thought my own boyfriend – who, in Greta's words, adored me – would cheat on me with a friend.

Now, after I've ignored him for three and a half years, and shouted at him when I've seen him, he's sitting here, holding me while I fall apart.

"Oh, my fuck," I groan into his chest. "I... Fuck, Theo. I don't even know what to say. Don't know how to... I'm so sorry. Oh, shit. I'm so, so sorry."

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