Ephemeral

Pillow Talk

I stared at the window that didn't have its long, elegant red curtains closed. I could barely see the dark forest that was in front of me from how far away the bed was from it. The night sky was equally as lost to my vision since I couldn't see anything out of the blackened window.

.

.

Pure nothingness.

It matched the room – the cold, lonely darkness that I was forced to be enveloped in by Aidan. Everything bleak, despair inducing...it all correlated back to him. It was just as I was in the final night of the mansion in Japan...

I was alone with my thoughts as they continued to wander and conclude to me being an unhappy, miserable heap of human garbage. Here, in this heavy darkness, I could think about everything that I did wrong and nothing that I did right.

Alone –

Alone with my thoughts.

I clenched my hands tightly, and I was laying on my side, still facing the window. The room had become eerie and silent. I was too scared to move in case that I would wake up the monster that was resting beside me. I didn't know if Aidan was still awake...but, it had been quite some time since we had both called it a 'night'.

I wanted to ask him the question – the question that I never got to ask him even after months of being held captive by him. It never seemed like it was a good time to ask him it. The aching weight that I carried with every single breath that I took – the thoughts once again weighing down on my ever growing fickle sanity --

I unclenched my hands, forcing myself to breathe out.

I didn't know if I was even...breathing right.

The golden medallion that I was wearing was burning into my skin – a constant reminder that I could easily get out of this situation if I just had a decent enough signal. I breathe din slowly, making sure that I wasn't making even a slight noise. I didn't have good signal, though, and therefore I was stuck here – in this bed...

With him --

Aidan.

.

.

I breathed out, holding back my growing animosity for the time being.

Right –

The pressing question that I never got to ask...

"Why did you kill everyone?" I asked, staring at the window that was across the room.

I noticed how the room seemed to grow darker after I had asked it. I didn't know what time it was, or how early it was into the morning. There wasn't any indication of the time as far as I could tell. To be honest, I was expecting the sun to rise up over the top of the forest that I could no longer see due to the veil of darkness.

There was a beat of silence as I waited, my eyes wandering from one side of the window frame to the other. It was as though I was expecting something to make its presence known over there – expecting him to be standing beside the bed, staring down at me, no matter how illogical that idea might have been. I wasn't facing him and couldn't tell his reaction to my question – I didn't even know if the monster was still awake at this point --

"Be more specific..." Aidan's tired voice muttered out as he let out a loud exhale from his nose.

I clenched my hands that were resting to my side.

He is awake...

"At my school..." I strained my voice to get my question out. "Why did you...?" I cleared my throat. It felt tight and was beginning to get closed up. Suddenly, it was hard to breathe as my nasal passages began to get clogged. Tears began to build up in the corner of my eyes. I knew it wasn't the time to cry and let out any lingering sadness that seemed to sill remain. "Why did you kill my..." I took in a deep breath to calm my nerves.