Phoenix's Lies

Just Come Back.

River

I don't see Nix for several days after we fight. I keep going out to look but with a twisted and later discovered to be sprained ankle I can only get so far. The rain refuses to let up, a storm blowing over and toward what lies beyond the trees the longer it goes on. But he does come back. He must have done, even if we didn't cross paths. He can't have stayed out there for that time since he likely wouldn't survive if he did. It's too cold. Too isolated.

True to his word I got a text from Mads a few days after we talked to say he's managed to decode the files Hails had and has sent a copy up for Nix and me to look at, along with a reminder that the others still wanted to talk. I thanked him and asked for a few days, feeling relieved when he agreed but didn't pry why. I hadn't seen Nix until then but a look around the cabin showed his missing coat, shoes and a flashlight. I look again and again but still find nothing. Worry getting stronger every day that happens.

Almost a week has passed and I still haven't seen him. I struggle to sleep with the branches knocking against the windows and the storm howling outside. Seeming to never get warm enough no matter what I do. Eventually, I resign myself to curling up on the couch in front of the fire, even if that does little to keep me warm. Instead, I use music to keep me sane as I wait for him to come back, even if just to yell at me. Or to pick another fight. I didn't care what the reason was at this point. I didn't care. I just need to see he's ok, to reassure myself that nothing happened. I just curl up and try again to write poetry to distract myself, using loose sheaves of paper to write on, but can't seem to finish any. Just leave them half blank lying around the cabin, though I can never find the pieces again. Perhaps another hint that he was coming and going. A girl can dream, right?

I'm in the middle of trying to find the energy to finish yet another half-done one when Ari calls me where I've kept my phone charged. "Hey, sorry I didn't reply earlier, things got hard up here," I mumble as soon as I accept the call, feeling guilty about not replying to her dozens of worried texts. "We had afoughthe's gone."

"Gone?" Ari sounds confused, "Gone where Riv, there's nothing around the two of you for miles except dense forest, it's why we sent you there. The nearest town is about a three-day drive away, let alone trying to calculate walking time. What did you argue about?"

I sigh, running a shaky hand through my hair and pulling the blanket around my shoulders tighter. "Me. Well, what to do about the possibility of me going to jail for murder." I pause, "He was saying shit that....it just wasn't called for and we argued. I lost my temper and said something I shouldn't have. Now he's gone and I can't find him again and I've looked. More than once."

Ari makes a sympathetic sound. "You two do this all the time, Riv. He just needs time to calm down. He'll come back." I make a strained noise and she sighs. "I know you're worried but even if he's mad I doubt Nix would go looking for trouble like the shit you're avoiding. He just needs a few days."

"It's been a week Ari. I don't even know if he's come back. Is coming back, at all."

Ari sighs sympathetically, "Did you try calling him to see? I know reception's a little shit there but it might work, just to put your mind at ease?" Her tone is gentle and I sigh, remembering when I did that. "I take it you did and it didn't work."

"He didn't take the phone with him. I found it on the kitchen table. All that's gone is a flashlight, his coat, and shoes. Oh, that and the flashlight I lost but I'll have another look for that when I go out tomorrow to see if I can find him." I sigh, trying to sort through the jumbled mess in my head. "I just want to say sorry, I was as much to blame as him but I can't find him to do it. What if something happened to him and I didn't know? If..."