Frills and funny faces

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Samuel sat down with the boy in his lap. Alex sat there, eyes threatening to let tears flow out again. He felt pathetic, helpless. He was pressed against the caregiver's chest, warm and comforting. He sat sniffling, pacifier still placed gently in his mouth. He rubbed his eyes, attempting to dry his tears and forget about the last twenty minutes. His whined softly as his hair was ruffled and messed with. As he was mid whine, the teacher of the class walked in.

"Ah so I see, and hear, we have some fussy babies in the room. At this point, caregivers, please allow your little go play and socialize in the back of the classroom."

Alex kept his face glued to his caregiver. He was already feeling so embarrassed, he didn't need the extra humiliation of "playing" with other littles who acted and were treated as an age older than him.

"Go ahead, bug. Jackie's already over there." The caregiver said, trying to gently coax the boy off his lap.

Alex shook his head, holding on tighter.

Samuel sighed, rocking the boy gently and petting his hair.

Alex cuddled closely, attempting to close his eyes and fall asleep again.  He'd rather not sit through this experience. Just as he was drifting into sleep, he was lightly shaken awake. He looked up at his caregiver, annoyed and angry. 

"Try not to fall asleep, if you fall asleep now, you won't be able to sleep at night." Samuel whispered, half listening to the teacher. 

Alex whined, protesting the caregiver's statement without words. 

"Shh, calm down. Are you hungry? Do you want a snack?" Samuel asked, bouncing the boy slightly, attempting to both occupy and distract. 

Alex only scoffed, turning to look away from his caregiver. 

"C'mon, buddy. Calm down and listen or go play in the back." Samuel said, ruffling the boy's hair again, causing the boy to put on an angry face and suck on his pacifier aggressively. 

Samuel sighed, looking to the caregiver sitting next to him who nodded understandingly and walked to the back of the class. Soon, he returned, holding the hand of presumably his little. 

"Um, hi. Do you wanna come play with me? You don't have to play, we can just talk." The girl said, playing with the hem of her dress in nervousness. 

A dress with a pretty skirt with pretty lace and layers of frills and fluff. A pretty dress with pinks and purples and sparkles on the front- He was staring. He was staring at a dress of all things. 

Alex looked at the girl and then at his caregiver who motioned for him to go join her. 

"Uh, o'ay." Alex mumbled around the pacifier, slowly slipping off Samuel's lap and following the girl to the back of the room where the rest of the littles were playing. With every step he took, he felt the extra padding pressed against him. He stood there holding his bunny plushie, looking over the crowd. Everyone else was dressed in brightly colored clothing, graphic tees, skirts, more toddler/older kid type clothes. Alex seemed to be one of the only ones with a younger set of clothing on. Blushing, he hid his face behind his bunny and attempted to disappear. 

"My name's Sophia, do you want to come play castle with me?" The girl from earlier asked, tilting her head slightly at the boy

Alex ended up watching as Sofia stacked foam blocks to make a "castle". After a half hour or so,  a few other girls approached them, eager to make a new friend. 

"Hi! I'm Emma! And this is Luna and Zoey." One girl said as they all sat around Alex. The first thing he noticed was their purple lanyards. Too embarrassed to speak, he pointed to the lanyard Emma was wearing. 

"Huh? Oh! Ours is purple 'cause we're second years. It's dark purple 'cause my age range is from  7 to 9. You're new so you have white 'cause you haven't been tested yet, but you'll get blues soon." The girl explained, smiling proudly at the fact that she was helpful. 

He looked at the lanyards of everyone else in the room. They had dark purples or dark greens on while Alex and Jackie were the only ones with white. 

It was about then that Alex noticed he never introduced himself. How rude of him. 

"I uh- my name-" He began, attempting to work up the courage. 

"It's Alex, I know. Jackie told me." The girl hummed, putting a flower clip in the boy's hair. 

Confused, Alex put a hand up to his hair, feeling the clip. 

"That means we're friends now."  She said, giggling softly. 

Alex looked at her, not knowing what to say. Not knowing how to express his feelings in that moment. Everyone he had been meeting had just been so- nice to him. Everyone at this school had been so caring and understanding. He wasn't used to that. 

"Alright, come on. Let's get going." A voice from behind said, reaching a hand out to Alex. 

He looked up, meeting the eyes of his caregiver. A caregiver with a sweet smile. 

"There's just an online thing I have to do. The teacher said I can do it later so I can get you back to the dorms." Samuel explained, words smooth and easy. 

Alex however, didn't want to go. At least, not anymore. 

Before he knew it, there were tears in his eyes and he was reaching out for his caregiver who was quick to scoop him up. 

"What happened, sweet boy?" Samuel asked gently, assuming Alex was still in headspace. 

The other littles had started to gather, immediate sympathy and intrigue at the sound of crying. 

Beginning to panic at the amount of eyes watching them, Samuel decided it would be best to console the boy on the way to the dorms. 

His decision proved successful as Alex began to calm down as they made their way towards the dorm halls. Alex had been once again reduced to pitiful sniffles and puffy red cheeks. 

He couldn't believe how much of a dumb little baby he had become. He just couldn't figure out how to voice his thoughts and feelings. He was frustrated with himself. He felt like a toddler half the time and an embarrassed adult the other half. He was however seen and treated like the former, 100% of the time. And now, he had another part of him that was refusing to acknowledge. The part of him that was still fixated on that dress. He would begrudgingly wear a baby outfit, but he refused to ever wear a girly outfit. He had that much dignity left in him, and was desperate to keep it. 

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