From Vows to Forever

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟐: 𝐂𝐚𝐧'𝐭 𝐟𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐢𝐧 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞

"My love for you burns like fire,
A passion that will never tire,
With every breath, I am inspired,
To love you more than I ever desired."

That's why I hate my dad, he blasted a bomb at my head and he wants me to apologise for my reaction, because I was showing attitude. He doesn't show an ounce of concern. It's morning now the Kumar family is coming to meet my family in about 1 hour.

I don't apologise, why should I, I'm not at fault. And I don't care, honestly all the hugs and the kisses i have ever given him, after the age of 12 were fake. That was when I knew that what my dad was doing to me, is very very wrong and not at all normal. That was when I got to know my height wouldn't increase at all, whatever my parents might do.

But as I would be bullied in school, my parents were my bully at home. They would taunt "you are so much acne" "you're so short, no one would marry you" "couldn't you be smarter" "why don't you exercise you're getting so fat". And I don't know why,maybe it's the commenting that made me stop everything I was doing to increase my height or do exercise.

Instead of telling me that they love me unconditionally, and no matter what I do and how I am they will love m. They criticised to the point that even if my friends complimented me, I couldn't feel it. And till now I can't feel beautiful, I tried to read books on self love and appreciation took workshops, nothing helps.

But I don't care, because all my family has ever told me is that things in me will be a problem while finding a match. I sit on the bathroom floor with a blade in my hand and think just what I've done to deserve this. I wish I could be the daughter they always wanted, but I could only wish.

Just as I am about to put another scratch on the already scarred thigh of mine, my cousin sister knocks on the door, and tells me to get ready fast. I keep the blade in its hiding place and jump into the shower and sit on the shower floor crying my heart out for 10 minutes, before I decide to get dressed.

I wear a beautiful suit I bought with my salary, and my earrings with bangles. Usually I am not so traditional, just on festivals but I have manners and even if I do end up marrying this guy, I want to have a good relationship with his family, even though I am very useless, I don't even know how to cook.

But I guess they already know that, and don't care, since they are rich so they probably have many many cooks. I put on my black heels, which make me look 5'2. Heels are very uncomfortable, but as soon as I will go down my family will start commenting on how short I look and how I should have worked on it when I had the time.

I would rather be uncomfortable and have a foot ache than to have my mood spoiled, and in tears before they even arrive. I walk down the stairs trying to avoid everyone and walk out of the kitchen into the garden and fill water in a can and water my roses. Call me basic but I love love love roses, especially white and red ones.

I hear the cars driving up the driveway, I keep the can away and wash my hands before I walk out, right in time for them to be welcomed inside by my family. All of them settle in the drawing room, and my mom comes my way, telling me to get water trays.

I carry the water tray to the room, extremely shy and trying my best not to look up, "namaste, uncle. Namaste ,aunty." I say while offering them glasses of water. They give me the biggest smile and greet me back. I try to touch there feet and as a respectful gesture but they don't let me.

"Beta, girls don't touch feet. Especially who is about to be the Bahu of our house. " Aunty says, still smiling at me.
She is very beautiful lady, and her and uncle make a beautiful couple.

The bell rings again, I move towards the gate to open it, but my dad commands to me to sit next to him. Hesitantly I go sit next to him. He tries to fake comfort me, by smiling at me and rubbing my hand. And all I want to do is cry, runaway, die. I don't even want to live, I am only alive for my sister, even though she doesn't care, and doesn't give me an once of respect, I have always loved her, and will keep loving her.

As I am lost in my sad and depressing thoughts, I miss a man walking inside. "Namaste Dadaji, Dadiji." He says and touches my grandparents feet while they pat his back. I don't look at him, I am a very very shy person. I can smell his intoxicating scent nearing me. "Namaste aunty, uncle" he bends down to touch my parents feet, but dad holds him back.

"Beta, you don't have to touch our feet, you're our son now" he says while smiling at him. " this is my daughter Nyesa and she is the one who will be marrying you" he says and I finally look up. And oh my god why does he look like every girls dream man, and so so so out of my league.

He is tall,like at least six foot for sure, with a trimmed beard and oh my god is he handsome. More reasons to be insecure, how can I stay with this beautiful man. Even though i can easily fall in love, I can't with him, he will for sure break my heart. I can't fall in love with him, I won't .

He may be the most handsome man I have ever seen, if I fall in love with him and he breaks my heart, I won't be able to live. I don't trust people, what if he makes me fall in love with him and then leaves me. So many what ifs.... I can't fall in love and I don't have any choice but to marry him.