The Love Cure

Friends With Benefits

I stare after Jen for a few more seconds. Why can't I free that insanely delicious smell from my nostrils?

"Come on, girl, let's go," Mia says, crashing into my back. Her dozen bangles sway on her wrist as she swings her arms with each step. I crane my neck once more in Jen's direction as we exit the school.

Once we're free from class and standing in the sun-drenched courtyard out front, everyone sort of lingers. Graduation is next week, so this will be the last time we'll all be here together.

But instead of engaging in social time like everyone else, I'm watching him.

Again.

I need to smash my head into a brick wall because my doing this is the equivalent.

Still, I can't pull my eyes away from his muscular build, his get-lost-in-me eyes. I shake my head to free myself from my obsessive thoughts.

I'm not watching him like the friend I should be. No. I'm stalking him lustfully. I've reduced him to a slab of beef. It's shameful because he's so much more than that. Except, he's sexier and sexier every day. Those full lips, his massively large hands, his perfectly sculpted body do naughty things to me in my dreams. With just a glance at him, my body squirms in the best possible ways.

For the past five years, I haven't been able to douse the fire that burns inside of me for him. It's so wrong to want him this much. I pry my eyes away from him and Sarah. The prospect of an 'us' is pointless.

I turn my attention to Harold standing in the middle of the quad saying goodbye to students.

I smile as a third-year math teacher, Ms. Cartwright, slides over to where he's standing. She smiles up at him and bats her lashes so many times I'm tempted to offer to blow in them to release whatever is trapped.

"What the hell you doin'?" I spin around and roll my eyes at Tricky.

"Girl, why are you always so loud?" She returns my eye roll with one of her own.

"Oh, you watchin' The Spell put another one under, huh?" I throw my head back and laugh.

"She's got it bad. I've seen her watching him the whole semester. I asked him if he noticed," I say.

"No, he ain't notice. That fool don't give two fucks about none of these classless peasants."

I laugh. "Wow, they're not peasants, are they?"

"Girl, The Spell tappin' it and gettin' out quick."

I purse my lips. "I don't think so. Harold said he wants to find love, but he keeps meeting the wrong ladies."

"Oh, yeah, he's really trying to get to know them while he lets them suck his dick in the teacher's lounge."

My mouth falls open. "How do you know that happened?"

She gives me the side eye. "I have a reliable source. It don't matter no way since I couldn't have him."

I laugh as she turns a meaningful eye toward our favorite teacher and drags her tongue across her pink lips.

"You're crazy and nasty, and did I mention crazy?" She nods her agreement.

Without consulting me, my eyes roam back over to Josh and Sarah. "Girl, you really need to move on from that. He's not worth it. And she's not either. And you can do better. And there are more important things in life t-"

"Okay, I get it. I know. We've been here before. I–I..." I sigh. "I just don't know why I keep feeling like this about him." I lean my head against her shoulder for support while I swaddle my self-inflicted wounds.

She wraps her arms around me. "Because you keep the fool around like he's some pretty little pet or somethin'. No guy should occupy as much of your thoughts as Josh does. If he can't see your worth, fuck him. You need to kick him to the curb. Get with Lance's fine ass. I told you what he said about you. Girl, he's really feeling you. "

I pull out of our embrace and give her my best, not a chance in hell expression. Tricky cannot ever hook me up again after the fiasco with the guy from Jamaica. I still get queasy when I smell coconut.

"Hey, so today's the big shopping day, right?" Sarah walks up and asks.

I nod and smile politely. It's not her fault that Josh chose her. I repeat this same phrase every time I see them together. I smile even harder to prove to myself that I can do this—be a decent human being. "They'll be here in a sec."

"So exciting. I wish I could hide in your luggage," Sarah says. Her dark eyes and round face are alight with excitement. She's genuinely the nicest person I've ever met. It's why she's one of my best friends. It's just unfortunate that I introduced her to Josh.

"Yeah, I'm sure you do," Tricky whispers loudly beside me. I elbow her. Josh walks over and steps right up to me.

His caramel eyes dance across my face, and his brown skin radiates warmth. I have the strangest desire to run my tongue from the curve of his firm chin to the bow of his voluptuous lips. I swallow hard and pull my eyes away from his mouth.

He glances down at the phone in my hand before speaking. "So, Sarah and I got you something for the big trip," he says. When I glance up, his sensual mouth is leaning into a smile. It's infectious, and I beam up at him and then over at Sarah's hopeful face.

"What you get?" Tricky says, pulling on the bag in Josh's hand.

"Trinity, if you don't get your paws off this bag, I'm coming to your house tonight dressed like Michael Myers." She backs up a step. Josh doesn't elicit vague or mindless threats. If he says he'll do it, he will. He's done worse to us all in his nice bad-guy way.

"Thanks, guys. You didn't have to get me anything," I say. My cheeks burn with a blush and I grit my back teeth to push down my embarrassment. Sarah and Josh are always doing things like this for me. It's so sweet.

Sarah doesn't deserve me as a friend. I try to remind myself that I developed this crush on Josh before she even came to Chesterfield Falls and I only told Mia and Tricky.

It's still not a valid excuse for my behavior.

"Hey Sarah, let's go see what the twins doing the rest of the day," Tricky yells, even though Sarah is standing less than a foot from her. They march off in the direction Tricky saw them. Her loud mouth carries with her. "Hey. What ya'll doing the rest of the day?"

"Why didn't you answer my message?" Josh says immediately.

I sigh. "It's not a big thing. It's just a couple of months."

"I thought we planned to spend our last summer in Chesterfield Falls together." He clenches his jaw tight as he waits for me to respond.

I cantell by the inflection of his voice that he's hurt. I stamp down the part of methat gets excited about this and remind her; he loves me in the most platonicway possible, to my heart's