Calm after the Storm

Baby steps

How do we sell you the world
Let it in, embrace and uncurl
So fit, so bold
Someone like you
Should not be left unsold

So how can I make it okay?
I just want you to be happy
How can I make it okay?
I just want you to be happy
How can I make it okay?
Nothing else is as important as that to me

(How can I make it okay - Wolf Alice)

[Harry]

Harry has already had a phone conversation with Anne. As soon as he got home, he grabbed a bottle of red wine, sat on his balcony with it and called his mother. Yes, he had promised Louis not to say anything, but he was so worried and he was always a mama's boy - and the certainty of what had been happening to Louis for what seemed like years, although he didn't know the details, weighed too heavily on him. He knew he could confide in Anne without her telling anyone.

Anne was at least as shocked as he was and he heard her sniffle softly when he told her. Louis was part of their family too, even if there was no longer any contact. After all, she had seen him grow up with Harry, had the little boy and later the teenager in her house almost every day. She also knew that Harry still loved Louis after all these years. And he had to try so hard not to cry right away. But Harry would be strong for him, would be his rock. And even if nothing ever becomes of them again - he will fight so that Louis no longer has to live in fear and that he breaks up with Jake. Anne asked Harry to confide in Jay as well. Talked into his conscience that it was precisely this silence from Louis over the last few years that made this possible, that Jake probably manipulated him and pushed him away from his own family so that he could take out his psychoses on him. Louis needed help and Harry shouldn't fight for it alone. Harry knew she was right.

And yet it feels like a betrayal of the love of his life as he sits there waiting for Jay to take his call.

"Hello?" she finally says, sounding rushed.

"Jay, it's Harry," he replies. "Do I bother you?"

"Never honey. I just couldn't find my phone. Are you calling about the visit next week? Good news - I'm coming with Anne," she chirps, sounding so happily that Harry almost feels guilty about telling her the news. He knows that as a mother it will hit her hard, at least as much as it hit him. What was previously speculation on her part has become the bitter truth.

"I'm glad," Harry murmurs.

Jay laughs softly. "It doesn't sound like it."

"No, I'm really excited about that, but Jay, um, I have to tell you something," Harry sighs, feeling downright sick. How do you tell a mother that her child is being abused?

"Do I have to sit down?" she asks suddenly seriously, and there's that motherly instinct that Harry always secretly admires. Be it his own mother's or Jay's.

"Yes, that's better."

"God Harry you're scaring me," she exclaims indignantly.

"I'm sorry Jay. First of all, you have to promise me that you won't say anything to anyone. Not even to Louis. I've already spoken to Mum, who asked me to let you in on it too. And I agree that it's the right thing to do. But I can't lose trust in Louis. Not now. He needs me and that's why you can't let it show you know," Harry explains quickly. And Jay starts crying and he didn't expect that. His heart breaks for the woman who is sobbing loudly into her phone and there is nothing he can do.

"How bad is it?" she just asks.

"Jay, will you promise not to tell anyone?" Harry asks hastily, needing that reassurance.