Hidebehind

Twenty-Three

I was restless at Great Grandma's church the next morning. Jay was coming over after, and I wanted to know what he had come up with. He'd wanted me to see if I could get any information from my Grandpa the night before, but Grandpa had been in a fog all evening, and even this morning, he was just sitting in his church pew, staring. I wondered who he was, at times like that. Where was his mind taking him? He had to be somewhere, but where? Even he could never remember.

"Rob—that boy is looking at you weird," my sister whispered.

My eyes darted in the direction she pointed, and Alex looked away fast.

"Don't be so sad, Rob."

"I'm not sad, I'm—"

"Shush!" from Great Grandma.

I took it down a notch and glowered at my sister, who only smiled sweetly. She was starting to be like grownups—like people who smiled because they thought you were too young to understand.

In addition to my business with Jay, I couldn't help thinking about my Great Grandma's mandate that I go back to school that Monday. I had known ever since saying I would never go back that I would eventually have to, and she'd told me last night that now was the time. I hadn't put up an argument; it wasn't in me to fuss with her. Besides, I'd been so busy observing Grandpa and trying to figure out if he was worth talking to, but now Alex's obvious glances in my direction were an unpleasant reminder that I'd have to return to Oxcart tomorrow. I was dreading going back, and he was foiling my attempt not to think about it. I kept my eyes plastered to my hands for the rest of church, but I couldn't avoid Alex when he accosted me amongst the crowd of people leaving the building.

I didn't even see him coming, but all of a sudden he was there, and all the old people socializing in front of me became impossible roadblocks.

"I need to talk to you," he started, keeping his voice at a low volume so as not to attract attention.

"I don't want to talk to you."

He fell behind me slightly as someone pushed the opposite way down the aisle. "Just give me a chance, Rob. I said I was sorry."

I rolled my eyes. "I know, so what else is there to say?" I surveyed all the people ahead of me. Somehow, Penny had squeezed through them . . . maybe I could, too.

Alex pushed another kid aside in an effort to get closer to me. "It's about that graffiti. You know, that's been—"

"I know where it's been."

"Fine. It's about that. I just have something to tell you about it."

In my curiosity, I turned to look at him, which I hadn't intended to do. "What about it?"

Alex signed. I couldn't decide if he was relieved or upset. "I don't want to say it here."

I screwed my mouth up and said nothing. I just made a point not to shove ahead so that Alex and I got out of the church about the same time. Everyone was standing around, chatting; I saw Great Grandma amongst a group of other old ladies and knew I had a good ten minutes at least to talk. I nodded at Alex and he followed me around to the side of the building, where some kids were playing and a couple scattered grownups conversed. Then I gave him an expectant look. I might have been giving him the opportunity to talk, but I didn't have to be friendly.

Alex, so much taller than me, seemed nervous as he stood there trying to figure out how to say whatever he had to say.

"Can you promise me that you won't tell anybody what I'm going to say?"

Is it that bad?"

He looked around like he wanted to make sure no one saw him. "Well, no. Not really. It's just that, I've seen markings like that before, okay? And it barely got my attention when I saw it on the school, but then I saw you on the news—"

"Why do kids watch the news around here?"

"I—well, I don't know. But anyway, when I saw it on your silo, I though maybe it was something I should tell you."

I stared at him for a moment, not really making the connection. "Why?"

He stared right back. "Obviously because I thought you'd be interested."

"Since when do you care about what interests me?"

He sighed bodily. "Just forget about it. You know? Just forget it."

"Where else did you see it?"

Alex came a step closer to me, his eyes widening. "In the woods."

I think I might have stood there with a blank expression on my face for several seconds. "What? You're trying to trick me to go back out in those woods with you, is that it? So you can leave me there all over again. Why are you such a complete jerk?"

Alex grabbed hold of my arm to keep me from leaving. "I'm not trying to trick you, really!"

I shook his grip. "Yeah? Even if I did believe you—which I don't—why would someone go graffiti some trees? All of those trees are skinny as sticks."

"It wasn't spray paint, and it wasn't on trees."

My curiosity was getting the best of me; if he wasn't lying, this was definitely interesting news. But heck if I was going to let him know I cared! "You're crazy."

"No. Listen. It was . . ." He sucked his lips, clearly not really wanting to tell me something.

"What?"

"On that rock. Where . . ."

"Where you left me?" I pretty much spat the words.

"Yeah. There."

"How come I didn't see it, then? I was there a lot longer than you were, and I didn't see anything."

He glanced around some more, like he was the one embarrassed to be seen with me. I hated him so much. "It wasn't there, then. I . . . I went back. After, you know . . . that. I just wanted to look around. And . . . and I saw tons of symbols sprayed all over that rock. They looked just like what we saw at school, and what was on your silo."

There was an awkward silence. He was apparently done talking, and I just didn't know what to say, but Great Grandma's voice suddenly cut through the air, a life saver; she was calling for me. I looked off in her direction, then back at Alex. "I have to go," I said.

"But do you not even care?" he asked, disappointment clear in his voice, and I felt something a little warm inside on hearing his disappointment.

I shrugged. "I don't know." Part of me wanted to just leave him hanging—after all, that's what he'd done to me. But instead, to my surprise, I found myself telling him to come over later, that we'd talk more about it. Then I was off trotting over to Great Grandma, internally yelling at myself for even talking to Alex, even though I liked the way the conversation had turned out.