Dp x Dc Oneshots

Disaster drunk

I love me some summoning eldrich Danny and disaster drunk Connie

~

The Justice league is at it's wits end. A good portion of the league, including some of the most heavy hitters are in the ICU.

Those who can still stand, try to desperately hold back a horde of practically untouchable monsters.

All because some moron found a legitimate Jinn oillamp, made a wish and is now riding the powertrip.

The only thing that seems to have any affect on them is Magic. The situation may have been more managable had Captain Marvel been earth side. But no one has heard from him since he announced about a week ago he had to deal with some interdimentional issue. (Or Billy has a test week and needs to study.)

Every member of the Justice League Dark they could get ahold of is currently either in the field fighting, or scrambeling to find a solution. Anything that could give them the edge they need to win.

This is where John Constantine stumbles in the temporary HQ, at the edge of the battlefield where the league is coordinating from. He smells like a liquor store exploded on him, yet is still nursing a bottle of jack that quickly gets confiscated by Batman. John glares at the dark knight and mumbles something about "ma bevvy" as he sways to the middle of the room and loudly and barely comprehesibly slurs; "Ah know a guy! Helpful bloke, he can help. Likes to help, buh-"

"Great! If he can help we'll appreciate it." Green lantern cuts of Constantine's rambling.

"Hushhhh shh, listen, listen roight. There's a teenie tiny little problem. Jus a small one no biggie."

"Constantine, tell us the issue and we'll help find a solution." Batman musters up all the patience he doesn't feel to deal with the rambling magician.

"Righ. He do- don't like ta be summoned. Sooo we need gummy worms. Thu- The sour sort."

"...Sour gummies." Flash deadpans.

"'S wha I said Innit."

"Okaaay but why?"

Constantine looks at the Flash like he's stupid.

"Cause- He don't like ta be summoned. An we need im ta like us yea?" He says in a tone that toddlers would find infantalizing.

The speedster can't believe this. He hates magic, doesn't understand it. But this just sounds like the random mumblings of a crazy drunk. More so than usual. Constantine has no right to speak to him like that.

"B?" Flash defaults to ask the Dark Knights opinion. He's way better at dealing with the magician anyway.

"You're certain this entity can be trusted?"

"Positive Batsy. 'Es a cracking lad. Jus gets real miffed when es sud'nly wisked away," He gestures dramatically. Batman barely misses getting smacked only by his reflexes. "Busy bloke yasee."

"Hn." He nods.

"Riiight..Anything else you need?" The speedster asks reluctantly.

"A car'mel machyy-"The magician takes a deep breath for a second before very carefully sounding out the word. "ma-chi-a-to wit extra 'spresso shots, an sum proper street nosh. He int picky but it needs ta be good 'cause-"

"Because he needs to like us yeah yeah got it." Flash speeds off, happily leaving the others to deal with Constantine.

"Are you sure about this, Constantine, Batman? What do we know about this entity. Perhaps you can share their name?" Wonder woman inquiers. She's here instead of the field as a last line of defence on their base of operations. A compromise to let her rest the injuries she's already sustained at the start of the battle.