The Monster In Black - Bill Kaulitz

The second stage of grief

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I woke up from my nap probably at 7 pm. Loud voices actually woke me up. Door slamming, someone was crying, the guys were shouting. I was barely awake and so confused.

I got dressed and went out of the room, rubbing my eyes. The voices were so loud, i even wondered if it is a good idea to even go downstairs.

"This is insane! This fucking peace of shit!" Tom shouted.

"Can we just forget about it? That asshole will get what he deserves the next time we meet." Georg said.

"Forget about it? Are you deadass? This might ruin our whole reputation!" Gustav yelled.

I couldn't hear Bill's voice. I wanted to see him and tell him about earlier. Not to snitch on Charlotte but to make her feel guilty. But someone beat it to me. Charlotte was crying, Tom was shouting at her and she had scars on her body. I felt bad but she said that she doesn't need my help so i just ignored her voice.

"You seem to think that you are something more, huh? You are just like them! I warned you ones, i warned you twice. You will pay later." He shouted at her face. She was crying hard and  she was bleeding from her eyebrow. Did Tom hit her? I didn't care, none of my business anymore.

I swallowed and started walking down the stairs. Everybody looked at me. I got anxious and looked around for Bill. Tom pointed at the kitchen and i nodded. I got all sweaty and stuff. I opened the door and saw him sitting on a chair, drinking alcohol probably. I looked at him and he gave me a look from his forehead, then he looked back down. I sat opposite of him.

"What did i miss?" I asked quietly.

"We lost in a race." He said ashamed.

"That's okay. I am sure you guys will win next time" i replied. He slowly looked at me, with sad face. Was the whole show that was happening about them loosing in a race? I don't understand men and their life problems.

"I appreciate your kindness Lilly, but you don't understand. If this happens one more time our reputation is done" he laughed a little bit, "I won't let this asshole beat me again, never!" He kick the chair next to him.

"I am sure you won't" i smiled. I wanted to hug him i don't know why, but i hate myself for that. He looked so angry and embarrassed that they lost. It just kinda broke my heart looking at him that way.

We were silent for a moment. We both looked at each other and started laughing.

"Okay, come here." He said. For God's sake i felt happy. I hugged him and he kissed my forehead.

"I promise to be at your next race and see you win" i said.

"You indeed with be there. Your friends said that they would love you to be there too." He said.

"Pff, that is probably the biggest lie i have ever heard" i laughed with tears. He looked confused but i wasn't going to expect the situation anyway.

"What? You guys had a fight or something?" He laughed.

"No just got into a little argument but we are alright." I said.

"Okay. Share with me if you need." He said with soft voice. Fuck. I hated him being so nice, it just kept feeding my thoughts.

"I will for sure, just not now." I looked down, hiding my face that immediately turn sad when we started talking about our relationship.

"It's okay. I will wait as much as you need" he said with serious voice.

I looked at him, he smiled. I hated him so much, it hurts.

"It's so annoying when you are that nice" Yes, i said that out and loud. We laughed, Jesus.

"I love annoying you anyway. Deal with it." He kissed me again.

*Bill's POV*

Hours past. Everyone was now relaxed after the race. I was surprised that Tom hit Charlotte, i actually thought he was going to change. Kind of. He was angry and she continued asking dumb questions. I don't disprove him but she was annoying. It was crystal clean that something happened between Lilly and Charlotte. Usually if Charlotte is sad, Lilly goes to talk to her. This time she didn't even look at her while she was crying and getting yelled at. Haven't seen this careless side of hers.

I was reading the daily newspaper when i came across an article about us, about today's fucked up situation. The title was named "Shocking loss for Bill Kaulitz and his gang today! Do we have a better competitor than the Kaulitz brothers?". Ain't no way this was real. It was late in the night so i tried to stay as calm as possible but this shit was spreading all over Tokyo. No, no, NO.

I was even more angry than before. I decided just to go to sleep so i throw the newspaper away. I started walking up the stairs and almost opened the room's door when i felt a hand on my shoulder. It was Charlotte.

"You have a minute, it won't take more" she said in low voice, still with red eyes from crying. I nodded, even though it wasn't the right time.

"She doesn't love you Bill. She is not who you think she is. Only the fact that she keep her little secret from you speaks for itself." She mumbled. She had a little smile which made me suspicious. Snitching on her friend, interesting.

"Oh really, and why is that?" I crossed my arms and leaned on the door. Her smile fainted.

"The other day, when you left us alone. We went out for a walk and she declined. Later on, on our way back i saw her kissing someone and then ran back to the house. Of course, she didn't see me and i was actually the only one to see her. That guy then started walking back with a smile on his face." she said. My face expression was indestructible. What was this insane girl saying? I even laughed out of confusion and disbelief.

"I have no idea who the guy was or why were they together but they looked happy. They were on the beach i suppose. And just so you know, he looked exactly like the guys from the newspaper" she whispered in my ear and left me alone in hall, silence. Lilly and that mother fucker. Together. They kissed. What on Earth did i just heard?

Anger.
I could feel it under my skin.

I couldn't even understand why she told me that. She wanted to make me angry or, i don't even know. The thing is that it worked. I started breathing heavily and got hotter. My head started hurting and the urge to storm into Charlotte's room and fucking make her tell me more was making me insane. I decided that i was going to go and sleep on the sofa. No way i was going into that room in this condition. Even if i was so mad at her, i have never been this mad at her i didn't want to hurt her. I promised her that. I was going to wait for her explanation tomorrow. I took some pills for my head and went to bed.

The guy that kissed Lilly was so dead. Everyone would forget about him is some days. I would make her regret that she even went out that night, even if i had to harm her.

"He will pay. Everyone will pay"

~~~