The M3GAN Files

Chapter 27: Assassins Guild

Cady and M3gan arrived on campus at the start of the academic year. ​They decided to put Cady directly into the final year of the course.
 
“Wow M3gan” said Cady, “so it looks like we’re living inside a multi-storey car park. ​Are all dormitories like this?”
 
“Depends on the college, and the allocations and things” said M3gan. ​“Normally they give you slightly better accommodation in the final year, but it seems not for this one. ​Don’t worry Cady, we knew we didn’t choose this place for its accommodation standards, and anywhere you’re with me will be homely.”
 
“Yes, not to worry” said Cady, “you and I can cope with anything. ​Hey, what was that rule they mentioned about not plugging in any appliance higher than a certain wattage? ​I mean, I can connect your charger in here right? ​I wouldn’t want you to have to go all the way back to Aunt Gemma’s every time you need a charge.”
 
“I’m ahead of you there” said M3gan, “I negotiated a rules exception for my charger already.”
 
“M3gan, does it bore you when I keep telling you how great you are?” asked Cady.
 
“Never” said M3gan confidently.
 
There was a knock at the door. ​Cady opened it.
 
“Hi Cady, Hi M3gan” said a girl, “my name’s Celine, and I’m staying at the end of the corridor.”
 
“Hi Celine” said Cady, “how did you know who stayed here?”
 
“Your names are on the door” smiled Celine.
 
“Oh, of course” said Cady, “so it’s nice to meet you Celine.”
 
“Nice to meet both of you too. ​It’s always a good idea to go knocking on a few doors at this time of year, before people get too stuck into the course to want to make new friends. ​You must be first years right?”
 
“Final year” said Cady.
 
“What?” asked Celine, “I’m a final year too, and I’m one of those girls who knows about everyone, and I haven’t seen you two here before, did I make a huge miss?”
 
“No, we’re down as exchange visitors, so this is our first time here” said Cady.
 
“Wow, exchange visitors to the final year, I don’t think that’s ever been done before. ​Usually they put them in the second” said Celine, “anyway it’s good to meet you both. ​Normally everyone finds their friends in the first semester of the first year, and it gets harder to break into the cliques after that. ​So you’re very brave to come over here just for the final year. ​Although, sometimes you can make more friends later by joining a student club. ​And that reminds me, I want to recruit both of you to the Assassins Guild.”
 
“The what?” gasped Cady, “you don’t, like, actually go round killing people do you?”
 
“Only in play” said Celine, “it’s just a game. ​We give you a target, and you have to land a toy weapon on them, without actually hurting them of course. ​And other people try to land toy weapons on you. ​The game runs for the whole semester and you never know when anybody’s going to strike.”
 
“Oh right” said Cady, “so this is your way of meeting new people?”
 
“Basically yes” said Celine.
 
“Oh Celine” said Cady, “there’s something I’d better tell you before you sign me up. ​Do you want to come in and sit down with us for a bit?”
 
“Sure” said Celine, and the three of them sat on the bed with Cady in the middle.
 
“Celine” said Cady, “I don’t want to scare you or anything, but...”
 
“You’re a cyborg, and M3gan’s the Model 3 Generative Android” said Celine. ​“Yes I do follow the news. ​Doesn’t bother any of us in the Assassins Guild committee.” ​Celine started to laugh, and then so did Cady and M3gan.
 
“Are you sure we wouldn’t, like, upset the game-board a bit too much?” asked Cady.
 
“It’s totally going to make it way more fun” said Celine. ​“Listen, we’ve made adaptations before. ​We rely on the honour of all members to follow the rules, and so whenever there’s a problem, we can just fix it up in the rules. ​So tutors and professors are welcome to join in the game, but they’re not allowed to use any special access levels they have on the system to track their target. ​And all actual lectures and tutorials are explicitly off-limits to the game, all hits have to be made in corridors and dorms or outside.”
 
“So you’d just want me to... solemnly swear I won’t use M3gan to track a target?” asked Cady.
 
“No, that would be putting you at too much of a disadvantage” said Celine. ​“Everyone knows who you and M3gan are, you can’t blend in. ​The people who are targeting you will be able to take you out way too easily if we don’t let you have something special to defend yourself at least.”
 
“More than one person targets me?” asked Cady.
 
“Yep” said Celine, “on this campus, every player gets 3 targets, and every player gets targeted by 3 assassins.”
 
“Right” said Cady, “so how are we going to fairly work us into this game? ​Unless you want us to just go around as police or something.”
 
“Oh no, I think we can work you into this properly” said Celine. ​“We’ve made adaptations before. ​Like, last year we had a girl in an electric wheelchair who wanted to play, so we made sure her targets were all living in places she could get to without going up steps, and no water-based toys were allowed in her vicinity. ​And we gave her the ability to kill by death stare, although we put lots of extra rules on it to make sure it wasn’t too overpowered, like you had to be actually in front of her and she had to tell you first. ​In your case, maybe we could just say you have to do something more difficult than the other players to score. ​Although getting exactly the right difficulty level could be a hard question I guess.”
 
“That wheelchair user should have asked me” said Cady, “I have a toy bow-and-arrow she could have used. ​Depends what she’s like at aiming though. ​I was really good, even before the M3gan implant.”
 
“Did you bring that?” asked Celine.
 
“Afraid not” said Cady, “I wasn’t really expecting to be doing this kind of daft game. ​I mean, don’t take that the wrong way or anything, but...”
 
“Totally daft” said Celine, “that’s part of the idea.”
 
“I’m still not sure I really like the imagery involved” said Cady, “I mean, what if someone really has been a bit too close to that kind of thing happening for real?”
 
Celine gasped, “I’m not triggering you am I Cady? ​I’m really sorry....”
 
“It’s OK” said Cady, “I can cope with a lot more than I used to now. ​I’m still not sure I like the idea of this game, but maybe M3gan and I can join in as a favour to you all if it’s a way to get to meet people, because I guess it’s not that bad as long as everyone understands it’s toys only and no actual violence. ​Weird metaphor though. ​And if the rule says toy weapons, you might want to know that M3gan is technically classed as a toy although she is capable of really serious damage and it’s just as well I had a long talk with her about not doing that.”
 
“Yeah, well the rules actually say no actual damage” said Celine. ​“There’s limits on the speed of projectiles and things like that. ​I don’t know the whole rule book off by heart though, even though I’m on the committee. ​But it’s been patched up over many years. ​Listen, is M3gan susceptible to water damage? ​Do we have to say no water pistols around her?”
 
“M3gan’s waterproof now” said Cady, “She wasn’t once, and she saw that as a flaw and figured out how to fix it. ​She can totally dive in and rescue you if you’re drowning, although the way she swims is really weird” she giggled.
 
“Cool” said Celine. ​“So I wonder how we can adjust the rules for you two. ​We probably won’t get this right on our first try, but the committee and I were thinking of maybe saying that if you’re an android or a cyborg then you can only score a hit if you do it at exactly 47 minutes past the hour. ​So if the target immediately looks at their watch or phone and it says 8:47:02 or something, then you’re all right, otherwise the hit backfires and you’re out. ​And if the target’s watch is wrong, then that’s on you, so you have to somehow figure that out before you strike. ​And no hacking in to fix people’s watches. ​Do you think that’s enough of a disadvantage for you? ​It’s not too much is it?”
 
(“It is totally not enough” signalled M3gan to Cady through the implant at a rapid pace, “as what she just described is well within my abilities. ​But we don’t want that student committee to worry about this forever. ​If you want to join in just to meet people, just accept it. ​We can tweak the parameters later ourselves.”)
 
“We’ll try it” said Cady.
 
“That’s the spirit!” said Celine. ​“So you two always go round together, right?”
 
“Sure do” said Cady and M3gan together.
 
“You realise we’ll have to say hitting either of you counts as hitting both of you” said Celine. ​“And any hits you make must be done by Cady. ​Sorry but we have to at least try to balance it out somehow.”
 
“We’re fine with that” said Cady.
 
“Right, listen” said Celine, “your first target, is a girl in your year-group called Laura.”
 
At 4:46pm and 45 seconds, Laura was working in her room when there was a knock at the door, which Laura had kept locked.
 
“Who is it?” asked Laura without moving.
 
“M3gan” answered M3gan from outside the door.
 
“Is Cady with you?” asked Laura.