motherhood

hearing the news

Stef's: POV
After hearing from my mother that my dad passed away
I don't know what to feel. I'm completely numb
The last conversation we had didn't end well, Lena is booking plane tickets for us to fly out. This must be a mistake, my father has always been a stubborn man
I didn't even know he was sick, mom didn't even know he has a Brian aneurysm. I didn't how am l going to tell my youngest daughter Francesca that her grandfather has died, they shared a special bond. When Lena and I found out we were having a girl, we decided to name her after dad. It made him proud to hear the news, l just wished we could have worked out our differences. I know people grieve differently, l've never lost someone close to me before. Lena cried when she found out, maybe it won't hit me. Now, l guess it will happen once l see the coffin
I don't know how l'm going to feel at the funeral hearing the pastor give Dad's eulogy on what a great man and father he was, dad wouldn't want everybody crying over him. He would want us to celebrate his memory in a happy way, mom must be going out of her mind
Cause she was the one who found him. She thought he was asleep, at least dad went peacefully in his sleep
I have so many memories of him. The one that sticks out out in my mind, the Boston Celtics basketball game he took me to once. How we screamed so loud l believe
I was ten years old at the time, babe l got our flight all sorted out. They didn't have any until tomorrow morning
The earliest they had available was at 9:55 am. So I took that one instead cause all the other ones wasn't till later in the afternoon Lena says to me, love it's fine we just to leave the house around 8ish. Because it's going to take us about twenty minutes to go through security Stef said
I tried calling Callie to see if she could make it to the service. But all I got was her voicemail, l just left her message telling her to call me back cause it was important
Lena tells me, honey I don't know what's going on with Callie. It seems like she's always busy with school work
I get she wants to independent and experience life on her own. It's like she an excuse every single time Stef replies
Honey I don't understand it myself, we gave her the tools
to go out into the real world but I don't think she's ghosting us out on purpose. I remember going off to college for the first time, all l did was study all the time
I didn't call my parents for three months cause I had a full schedule. Lena explains to me, l get all of that honey
Callie isn't your typical eighteen year old girl. You know how shy she is around people Stef says to Lena, l don't know Stefanie shy isn't the word l would describe our daughter. After seeing Callie's Facebook photos recently
At first I didn't recognize my own child, she looked at a totally different person. Our sweet Callie has grown up
She had makeup on, Lena tells me are you trying to give me a heart attack Lena l don't want to hear no more about Callie. I'm not looking forward in having the conversation with Francesca about dad that's another situation in it's own. You know how crazy she was about him, this news is going to crush her to pieces stef States. Mom was saying the same thing when I called her we'll just have to be straight with Francesca, she's very smart for her age
Lena Stated. I was sitting here thinking the same thing
I feel like it would be better coming from me
We probably take a drive somewhere and then I will tell her the news. I'm having a hard time processing this whole thing myself l can't imagine what my mom's feeling
They been married for a long time, she might not want to stay at the house since dad died there Stef said. I don't know know sweetheart, my Daddy is having a difficult time dealing with the fact his best friend is gone Lena says
They use to go play golf every single weekend when they had time off from their jobs everyone handles death differently Stef States. I'm about to head to the grocery store do you need anything while I'm out at the market
Lena asked me, l can't think of anything at the moment
I'll text you if I change my mind l'm just gonna wait here until Francesca gets home from school plus I have to call my job to let them know I won't be in this week Stef said
Okay baby Lena gives me a peck on the lips before leaving out the door. I don't know what l would without that woman by my side,