Love Notes

Chapter 15.

Annie is as pissed as I imagined when I break the news.

"You have got to be kidding me, Izzy?" she says. "Ten minutes? It only took him ten minutes to talk you around?"

"It's really not like that, Annie," I say defensively, "I'm not rushing back to him pretending it didn't happen."

"No, it's worse! You're going back to him thinking it will change. Are you really that naive?"

I don't have a clue what to say to that. Maybe she's right, maybe I am naive. But isn't it possible that she could be wrong too?

"Well don't just stand there like a child," she snaps as I stare at the ground between us. "You're making me feel like a bitch." Annie's eyes bore into me with all the intensity of a disappointed mother before she lets out a sigh and shakes her head. "I'm not trying to be harsh, Izzy, I just don't want you to get hurt again. You walked into my bar like a wounded animal, I don't ever want to see you have to do that again."

"I know," I say quietly. "I'm sorry. Look, I completely understand how much drama this has been for you and Will. My life really isn't normally like this, but if you don't wan-"

"Don't even suggest that I'd prefer us not to be friends, Izzy," she says, cutting me off. "You'll be playing right into his hands if you do. You drop me and Will and then what? You're right back where you started? No way. I don't have much time for friends, but I like you. You're a fool right now, but I like you."

"Thanks... I think."

"I know you don't know me all that well yet," she says, "but I'm not someone that can just walk away and leave anyone vulnerable, and that includes you. When that mess comes crashing down around you again, and it will come crashing down, Izzy, I want you to know that I'll be there, ready to help. It's important that you know there's somebody there for you this time."

I'm so thrown by her response that my head could spin. I expected Annie to never want to see me again after all of this. In-fact, I was so prepared for it that I'm not even sure what to say to her right now, she really is something special.

She gives me the courtesy of letting me explain myself, but her opinion doesn't change.

"I don't blame you for wanting to make it work," she says, "I just don't see it happening, not from the little bit you've shared with me. But hey, prove me wrong. What do I know anyway right?"

"I really do love him, Annie," I tell her. "I think we could be happy."

"That's the thing, Izzy. You shouldn't have to think you can be happy with someone, it should just be something you are."

I appreciate her concern, but I can't stand the idea that I've wasted these last few years with someone that's unredeemable. There's a lot of good inside of Jamie, I believe that he can change. I've lost both my career and friends in the mess we let happen, but if Jamie and I can make it, if we can really try, then it might just be worth the cost of everything else.

The drive back to Annie's apartment is uncomfortable to say the least. As she pulls up to a stop light, she finally mentions the person we've both been thinking about.

"Do you want to tell Will yourself or should I?" she asks.

I give her a look that loosely translates to 'dear god don't make me tell him', and she understands immediately.

"Yeah, that's probably best," she agrees. "He's not going to take it well."

I don't ask her to elaborate on that, we both know why.

Annie try's to talk me out of my decision one more time before we reach her place, but when I dont give in, she makes me promise to call her over the next few days so she knows things are okay.