𝐀𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐲𝐚
I'd sworn off of love and men after the fiasco that was my last relationship. Until I spent one steamy and passionate night with a dark haired stranger. A man that I thought I'd never see again. Until I found out that he was my new boss...
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Five weeks later
It had been two weeks since I'd started going to therapy. A month since I last saw Neil. I'd officially resigned as Finance Director from Dellite Inc and had managed to distance myself from everybody there. Right now, my time was dedicated solely to healing and so that I could be the best version of myself. As expected, there had been no contact from my parents' end. It shouldn't hurt...but it did. Just one of the things we were working on in my therapy sessions. I'd been lucky enough to find a therapist who was Indian - might I add, after a lot of research - since she understood most of my struggles and how it felt like to be a woman of color navigating her way through a world full of misogynistic men also known as the patriarchy. I'd started unpacking a lot of stuff, things I didn't even know that I was still hurting over. So far, we were only two sessions in, but I could already feel the difference - the progress I'd made, even if it was baby steps.
Neil and I texted a few times, checking in on each other and always ending our threads with an I love you - a reminder that we'd only pressed pause on our relationship for a while. Mira and Oli had been my support system throughout it all, lending me a shoulder to cry on whenever I felt like it. Or pulling me back when I felt myself sinking into old habits. There were times where I dreaded going to therapy, certainly not looking forward to being vulnerable in front of a stranger that I paid to do just that. It was unsettling. But I pushed through.
Sighing, I sat down with my journal, setting aside my cup of tea. I hadn't kept up with what had happened to Tina or what was going on in the office - and neither had Neil broached the subject in our conversations so far. We both knew that talking about it was sensitive at best.
Pen in hand, finger poised over the lined journal, I bit my lip as my thoughts strayed to Neil. That had happened a lot over the past one month. It was normal, according to my therapist, to miss someone who'd played a pivotal role in my life and whose company I'd grown used to. But that was the thing, wasn't it? The problem was that I had gotten used to Neil being my emotional crutch. I'd started looking to him, to our relationship to heal me which, let's be frank, wasn't possible. Which was precisely why I had to do this on my own. No. I needed to do this by myself to prove to myself that I could. That I was with Neil because I wanted to be and not because he made me feel better about myself or validated.
My hand drifted across the page as I journaled, noting any sudden feelings that had arisen today. Once I was done, I got up to put my mug in the dishwasher just as my front door opened.
"Guess what I bought for us?"
"What?" I turned to face Mira, frowning when I didn't see Oli.
"Cream cheese bagels from our favorite bakery." She kicked the door shut behind her before placing a paper bag on the counter.
"You're an angel." I smiled at her, putting one wrapped bagel in front of her before unwrapping mine and digging into my breakfast. "Where's Oli?" I asked through a mouthful. I could have missed the way Mira's face fell had I not been observing her closely.
