Chapter 20

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I've obviously woken Nessa up when I bang on her door five minutes later; her eyes are half-shut and her hair a tangled mess. She's a far cry from her usual perfect self. "Where's the fire?" She mumbles, rubbing at her mouth as if she's checking for drool. Classy.

"There's no fire," I reply, pushing past her into her room. "There is, however, a very frustrated man downstairs right now."

"Well, maybe you should just shag him then, and leave me out of it," she says jokingly, looking slightly confused.

"I'm not talking about Owen," I snap. "Kieran is here, Vanessa!"

Her face goes pale at my words. "What?" She asks faintly, dropping down onto the bed. "He's actually up here?"

"What the hell is going on?" I ask.

"Fuck," she whispers in response. Helpful.

I'm annoyed, and for a few reasons. Firstly, Nessa is meant to be my best friend, but has clearly been keeping something from me. (Yes, crown me "World's Biggest Hypocrite" if you want; I don't particularly care right now!) Secondly, my brother and I might not be particularly close, but she's still somehow worried him enough to cause him to drive more than 200 miles to see her in person.

And, thirdly, I'm feeling thoroughly cock-blocked right now.

I'm not saying I necessarily planned to have sex with Owen tonight. But I certainly wanted to continue the kissing behind the closed door of my hotel room. Maybe a bit of light petting. Perhaps lose some of our clothes. And then . . .

Do not let your mind wander, Mirren!

Instead, Owen is now trying to calm Kieran down in the bar, and I'm standing here trying to figure out what the hell is going on with Nessa.

Oh, and I had to basically hide behind a massive potted plant in reception while Owen spoke to Kieran, so 1) my brother wouldn't suspect anything was going on between us and 2) I could sneak away to speak to my friend and warn her. The receptionist was giving me some serious side-eye, and with good reason - I must have looked a little bit crazy.

When did my life turn into such a farce? It feels like The Mirren Show is very abruptly slipping into Fawlty Towers territory. I'm not sure I can handle any more slapstick in my life.

And I'm very worried about my best friend.

"Nessa, you need to talk to me," I say now. "What is happening with you and Kieran?"

"He asked me to marry him," she blurts out.

And suddenly I realise why she's freaked out so much.

Most girls would probably be happy in this situation, granted. But Nessa was engaged before, to her childhood sweetheart, Max. They'd been happy together for years, but almost as soon as wedding bells were on the cards, their relationship just . . . fell apart

They'd barely started planning their big day when he decided to run off with a woman from his office, and it took Nessa a long time to get over it. I spent many nights talking her mentally off a ledge while we gorged on chocolate and romcoms, trying to convince ourselves there were actually still decent men out there somewhere

"Oh," I say softly. I sit down beside her and squeeze her hand. 

"He asked me on Saturday morning, just before we left, and I . . . Well, I panicked and asked him to give me time to think while we were away. I just . . . I don't want to ruin what we have.

"And I've felt so guilty for feeling that way, and so conflicted because I do want to say yes, but I'm scared it will kill our relationship. I don't want history to repeat itself!" She wipes frantically at the tears trickling down her face. "So I've been avoiding his calls and not replying to his messages, which probably was stupid of me. I've really wanted to talk to you about it, but with Kieran being your brother I felt so awkward even bringing it up, so I've just basically been stressing inside my own head and trying to act like nothing is wrong." She starts to cry in earnest now. "Fuck, it feels good to get that all out."

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